Q:Are you a good cook? A:You have no idea. I'm fucking amazing. This is why I've never... http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim/q/171994943
Why is Maddy having a slumber party on a Sunday night? @catdsilver, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET IT AWN TONIGHT WITH ALL THESE KIDS AROUND?!?
@JMMAgroup When and where was that filmed?
Ahhh, it was back in November...
@kisstheground Yeah, I skipped ahead a few tracks and he mentions thanksgiving
Q:Is Grand theft auto a good thing for kid... A:Maddy will not play this. Ever. No. W... http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim/q/172250221
Come one come all - vday zorap/sallyb. get 'tested' before you come in.
Hey, all you valentines day whores, get into my zorap.
Fuck, do I have to invite you people?
@meeshell78 @karenrowena @johncmayer @ExoticMoonFlwer @VannyDel COME TO MY ZORAP. WE HAVE COOKIES.
@meeshell78 awwwww, well then good day, madam!
@ExoticMoonFlwer come into zorap
RT @13thwitness There's nothing like a little sex to get your day going.
@Benjamin__Linus Could you imagine your life directed by @thatkevinsmith?
I want to punch a baby today. Get in line and cry.
@greggrunberg They have pills for that. Here, have some John Mayer Old Man Brand Penis Pills.
@cwm76 Old lady tears #potentiallube
@catdsilver WHY DID YOU TAKE MADDY TO THE PLAY AREA WHEN SHE IS 9? FUCK.
@catdsilver had you actually punched a baby, i would have done that thing in bed that i nearly never do that you always ask me to. ya know.
@catdsilver You know what I'm talking about...When you ask me to shut up...I would actually shut my fucking mouth in bed. For a change.
For the newbies to @johnmayerasasim - http://is.gd/8sHSl
@SugarPlumKelly oomph?
@KarenRowena *coughcough remember you and Sonny's not so private tweets, ma dear?
@KarenRowena Just putting you in your place, you sexy ladayyyyyyy ;)
And now, you own my heart. RT @MrsSOsbourne: Enough about John Mayer and his boring little white supremacist dick
@KarenRowena I heart you, you australian vixen. Too bad the flight there would kill me.
Q:Do you sing to your pets? If so what son... A:I don't have pets. But nobody likes me ... http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim/q/175918353
Q:Would you rather make out with a vampire... A:A werewolf, they'd be less inclined to b... http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim/q/175922467
@ametrick I just want to follow you because the person who controls me, @sallyblock, thinks your profile pic is hot. You're welcome.
@anidee, why aren't I following you? All this time, you could be getting tweets from a dirty old man. Problem solved.
@bunnyears Oh my, that's hilarious. I support Planned Parenthood but why use that other room when such a beautiful, comfy room is available?
Kirstie Alley needs to STFU. if Scientology was the Be All/End All, it would help her lose all that weight she's been bitching about forever
I just realized why I hate Celine Dion so much. It's not her voice. It's because her mouth is too small for her face. I just can't take it.
So, there are people out there who randomly follow people for two minutes just to get their names out there and then unfollow once followed.
Those are some funky looking medals
Imagine if the Olympics brought back the Compulsory Figures competition? Many would not know wtf to do: http://is.gd/8tkj1
Why is Maddy having a slumber party on a Sunday night? @catdsilver, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET IT AWN TONIGHT WITH ALL THESE KIDS AROUND?!?
@JMMAgroup When and where was that filmed?
Ahhh, it was back in November...
@kisstheground Yeah, I skipped ahead a few tracks and he mentions thanksgiving
Q:Is Grand theft auto a good thing for kid... A:Maddy will not play this. Ever. No. W... http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim/q/172250221
Come one come all - vday zorap/sallyb. get 'tested' before you come in.
Hey, all you valentines day whores, get into my zorap.
Fuck, do I have to invite you people?
@meeshell78 @karenrowena @johncmayer @ExoticMoonFlwer @VannyDel COME TO MY ZORAP. WE HAVE COOKIES.
@meeshell78 awwwww, well then good day, madam!
@ExoticMoonFlwer come into zorap
RT @13thwitness There's nothing like a little sex to get your day going.
@Benjamin__Linus Could you imagine your life directed by @thatkevinsmith?
I want to punch a baby today. Get in line and cry.
@greggrunberg They have pills for that. Here, have some John Mayer Old Man Brand Penis Pills.
@cwm76 Old lady tears #potentiallube
@catdsilver WHY DID YOU TAKE MADDY TO THE PLAY AREA WHEN SHE IS 9? FUCK.
@catdsilver had you actually punched a baby, i would have done that thing in bed that i nearly never do that you always ask me to. ya know.
@catdsilver You know what I'm talking about...When you ask me to shut up...I would actually shut my fucking mouth in bed. For a change.
For the newbies to @johnmayerasasim - http://is.gd/8sHSl
@SugarPlumKelly oomph?
@KarenRowena *coughcough remember you and Sonny's not so private tweets, ma dear?
@KarenRowena Just putting you in your place, you sexy ladayyyyyyy ;)
And now, you own my heart. RT @MrsSOsbourne: Enough about John Mayer and his boring little white supremacist dick
@KarenRowena I heart you, you australian vixen. Too bad the flight there would kill me.
Q:Do you sing to your pets? If so what son... A:I don't have pets. But nobody likes me ... http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim/q/175918353
Q:Would you rather make out with a vampire... A:A werewolf, they'd be less inclined to b... http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim/q/175922467
@ametrick I just want to follow you because the person who controls me, @sallyblock, thinks your profile pic is hot. You're welcome.
@anidee, why aren't I following you? All this time, you could be getting tweets from a dirty old man. Problem solved.
@bunnyears Oh my, that's hilarious. I support Planned Parenthood but why use that other room when such a beautiful, comfy room is available?
Kirstie Alley needs to STFU. if Scientology was the Be All/End All, it would help her lose all that weight she's been bitching about forever
I just realized why I hate Celine Dion so much. It's not her voice. It's because her mouth is too small for her face. I just can't take it.
So, there are people out there who randomly follow people for two minutes just to get their names out there and then unfollow once followed.
Those are some funky looking medals
Imagine if the Olympics brought back the Compulsory Figures competition? Many would not know wtf to do: http://is.gd/8tkj1
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