@catdsilver That's secretly how I met my first wife
Hey @bobmaron, your presence is requested in Florida.
@bobmaron wearing an ascot, of course.
So my wife met the real thing tonight. Super glad to hear it as well.
@ivanahumpalott my girl @catdsilver met @johncmayer tonight outside the buses at the Florida show
@circusizedpnuts I've been telling you time and again that you'll die of heat exhaustion if you come into this sauna fully clothed.
Tonight I'll be watching Dr. Parnassus.
@catdsilver You are definitely not in the minority in loving Steve Jordan. Several people can back you up in loving his fabulousness.
*steps out of character for the next few tweets* barring any emergency circumstances, I think I'm going to keep this format
And remain tweeting as Elderly John, the younger John cartoons being his flashbacks or something.
Okay just letting y'all know what the game plan is from now on. Didn't think I'd make it a week under this format. As you were! *back under*
UPUSSY
@catdsilver Wife, you'd better start making sense soon or else I'm going to spank you in public. But I forgot you like that.
@VannyDel *trembles*
@VannyDel I'm at a starbucks with Maddy. Stop that.
At a Starbucks with Maddy, treating her to a decaf short caramel macchiato so she can get used to the taste. We're going to play checkers.
What taste does Maddy have to get used to? THE TASTE OF AWESOMENESS AND HAPPY.
@circusizedpnuts Nope, I was referring to your quoting the lyrics of that 80's song.
I had a dream about Darth Vader last night. Someone tell me what this means. Please.
@circusizedpnuts I'll be there in a half hour. The pictures we send to the internets will be incredible and worth a shitload of monies.
@bearheadedgirl They've been sent to my newly built sex dungeon. Let me redirect them.
@Uilos I always love it when you come to my house. You clean up after yourself and you don't mooch. Plus, you don't ask to be put in my will
@Uilos And just so everyone knows, NOT asking to be put in my will increases your chances of gettin IN my will. Foolish exwives and bastards
@VannyDel Why you gots to be making fun of us old men. We are nasty but...oh wait.
@VannyDel THIS IS NO TIME TO TALK THE DIRTAY DIRTAY! I'M STILL AT THE GOT DAM STARBUCKS WITH MADDY!
@VannyDel THAT'S IT! I'm going to take a cue from Pootie Tang, my favorite movie of all time, and call you Dirty Dee.
@VannyDel Thanks, Dirty Dee. You just knocked it out of place. Time to get that replaced on Monday.
@yearinla http://twitpic.com/11kad0 - I'm sorry I left those behind when I stopped by on my John Mayer Brand Old Man Tour of the South, Spon
@k8thompson @caitinlv If it's someone in my house, I'm going to shoot myself in the dick with a pistol.
This old man needs some questions http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim
@yearinla those belong to someone else. It's very hazy.
YES! RT @LuizaVilleneuve: Your dream of Darth Vader was a premonition about the launch of limited edition helmets yesterday in value $ 900.
Whenever Maddy is home from school, I will be her teacher. She will watch this to keep up to date on her classes: http://is.gd/7MwrG
Q:Ever thought of branching out in your pr... A:They must all have my name on them. I me... http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim/q/127188375
Dear Livejournal server: what wrong witchu? I'm trying to post some more fanfiction about myself, er, um, read about my friends' day! Work!
@LuizaVilleneuve I might buy it. It seems rather pricey. But people already know to fear my wrath so what's the point? ;)
@LuizaVilleneuve Fuck Perez Hilton.
@LuizaVilleneuve He's just so full of shit. He could use his site/presence for good and he doesn't. So self important. needs to shut up.
@LuizaVilleneuve You can talk about Perez, just not TO him. It'll be okay.
@LuizaVilleneuve Yes, very much so.
@LuizaVilleneuve You live in florida?
@LuizaVilleneuve k
@LuizaVilleneuve Maddy gets scared of planes. I'd better not. But thank you!
@LuizaVilleneuve Very close to it. In between Los Angeles and Never NeverLand.
Got Merle Haggard's 'Sweethearts or Strangers,' Please email it to me at JohnMayerasaSim at Gmail Dot Com. Maybe I'll put you in the will?
@NaughtyRev The fact that they haven't done so yet is fucking abominable.
I'm going to just randomly friend 10 people on 10 random twitter lists. See if they follow me back. Awesome.
According to Ellen, it's Fist Pump Friday. I'm scared. Hip replacement Monday is coming. Don't injure me.
That last tweet goes out to all the Single Ladies on my feed. You have been warned.
@caitinlv Bones aching.
@caitinlv I MEANT JOINTS, I MEANT JOINTS!
@LuizaVilleneuve One day your prince will come.
@13thwitness That's very hipster of you.
@LuizaVilleneuve YEP! You're welcome!
@LuizaVilleneuve I didn't mention Valentines Day at all. That day needs to be set aflame. Celebrate love every day. With sex and chocolate.
@LuizaVilleneuve Hooray for you! I haven't seen @johncmayer since November and it was a great show. Enjoy it!
Hey @bobmaron, your presence is requested in Florida.
@bobmaron wearing an ascot, of course.
So my wife met the real thing tonight. Super glad to hear it as well.
@ivanahumpalott my girl @catdsilver met @johncmayer tonight outside the buses at the Florida show
@circusizedpnuts I've been telling you time and again that you'll die of heat exhaustion if you come into this sauna fully clothed.
Tonight I'll be watching Dr. Parnassus.
@catdsilver You are definitely not in the minority in loving Steve Jordan. Several people can back you up in loving his fabulousness.
*steps out of character for the next few tweets* barring any emergency circumstances, I think I'm going to keep this format
And remain tweeting as Elderly John, the younger John cartoons being his flashbacks or something.
Okay just letting y'all know what the game plan is from now on. Didn't think I'd make it a week under this format. As you were! *back under*
UPUSSY
@catdsilver Wife, you'd better start making sense soon or else I'm going to spank you in public. But I forgot you like that.
@VannyDel *trembles*
@VannyDel I'm at a starbucks with Maddy. Stop that.
At a Starbucks with Maddy, treating her to a decaf short caramel macchiato so she can get used to the taste. We're going to play checkers.
What taste does Maddy have to get used to? THE TASTE OF AWESOMENESS AND HAPPY.
@circusizedpnuts Nope, I was referring to your quoting the lyrics of that 80's song.
I had a dream about Darth Vader last night. Someone tell me what this means. Please.
@circusizedpnuts I'll be there in a half hour. The pictures we send to the internets will be incredible and worth a shitload of monies.
@bearheadedgirl They've been sent to my newly built sex dungeon. Let me redirect them.
@Uilos I always love it when you come to my house. You clean up after yourself and you don't mooch. Plus, you don't ask to be put in my will
@Uilos And just so everyone knows, NOT asking to be put in my will increases your chances of gettin IN my will. Foolish exwives and bastards
@VannyDel Why you gots to be making fun of us old men. We are nasty but...oh wait.
@VannyDel THIS IS NO TIME TO TALK THE DIRTAY DIRTAY! I'M STILL AT THE GOT DAM STARBUCKS WITH MADDY!
@VannyDel THAT'S IT! I'm going to take a cue from Pootie Tang, my favorite movie of all time, and call you Dirty Dee.
@VannyDel Thanks, Dirty Dee. You just knocked it out of place. Time to get that replaced on Monday.
@yearinla http://twitpic.com/11kad0 - I'm sorry I left those behind when I stopped by on my John Mayer Brand Old Man Tour of the South, Spon
@k8thompson @caitinlv If it's someone in my house, I'm going to shoot myself in the dick with a pistol.
This old man needs some questions http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim
@yearinla those belong to someone else. It's very hazy.
YES! RT @LuizaVilleneuve: Your dream of Darth Vader was a premonition about the launch of limited edition helmets yesterday in value $ 900.
Whenever Maddy is home from school, I will be her teacher. She will watch this to keep up to date on her classes: http://is.gd/7MwrG
Q:Ever thought of branching out in your pr... A:They must all have my name on them. I me... http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim/q/127188375
Dear Livejournal server: what wrong witchu? I'm trying to post some more fanfiction about myself, er, um, read about my friends' day! Work!
@LuizaVilleneuve I might buy it. It seems rather pricey. But people already know to fear my wrath so what's the point? ;)
@LuizaVilleneuve Fuck Perez Hilton.
@LuizaVilleneuve He's just so full of shit. He could use his site/presence for good and he doesn't. So self important. needs to shut up.
@LuizaVilleneuve You can talk about Perez, just not TO him. It'll be okay.
@LuizaVilleneuve Yes, very much so.
@LuizaVilleneuve You live in florida?
@LuizaVilleneuve k
@LuizaVilleneuve Maddy gets scared of planes. I'd better not. But thank you!
@LuizaVilleneuve Very close to it. In between Los Angeles and Never NeverLand.
Got Merle Haggard's 'Sweethearts or Strangers,' Please email it to me at JohnMayerasaSim at Gmail Dot Com. Maybe I'll put you in the will?
@NaughtyRev The fact that they haven't done so yet is fucking abominable.
I'm going to just randomly friend 10 people on 10 random twitter lists. See if they follow me back. Awesome.
According to Ellen, it's Fist Pump Friday. I'm scared. Hip replacement Monday is coming. Don't injure me.
That last tweet goes out to all the Single Ladies on my feed. You have been warned.
@caitinlv Bones aching.
@caitinlv I MEANT JOINTS, I MEANT JOINTS!
@LuizaVilleneuve One day your prince will come.
@13thwitness That's very hipster of you.
@LuizaVilleneuve YEP! You're welcome!
@LuizaVilleneuve I didn't mention Valentines Day at all. That day needs to be set aflame. Celebrate love every day. With sex and chocolate.
@LuizaVilleneuve Hooray for you! I haven't seen @johncmayer since November and it was a great show. Enjoy it!
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