JM, As a Sim

http://twitpic.com/nhams - @johncmayer I'll bring the melatonin.
Sleeptime, motha'uckas!
@bobmaron http://twitpic.com/nhect - I want to eat all of those.
@johncmayer you're wearing a goddamned fanny pack? *disowns*
@johncmayer I was going to sleep when I saw this. Perez is going to attack and you know it. *grabs popcorn* & Michael Jackson .gif
@johncmayer - complete with popcorn. I'm on your side. Gunnite everybudday.
@johncmayer If it wraps around your waist, it's a fanny pack because it has the the same latitude as your ass.
http://twitpic.com/njh3n -
Now...I don't want to call myself stupid but maybe if I were plugged in, my baby would charge.
@LadyofShalott06 oh thank you
@bearheadedgirl http://twitpic.com/njopj - He looks like Simon Pegg.
Downloading a lot of stuff for the new strips. They will be epic and boatfilled.
@bearheadedgirl c'est possible! @bobmaron is easier to make. Searching for an afro
Follow @johncmayer because he's the reason this account exist. That and a shitty economy. That and George W. Bush. That & @thesims3 and...
Follow @bobmaron because once again, he's super smart and wants an afro. Can you dig it? I can dig it. Something tells me, he can too.
Follow my Sim-wife @catdsilver, if for nothing else than her jumbo yummies.
follow @SallyBlock for it's my real account
Follow @kevinmarshall He's not gay, he's Kevin and he can make you cry with a single acting scene. Well, several. He's a wonderful man.
Follow @ShenaniganJenn & @ellebees because they're the real ONTD whores, represent.
Follow @onlybymoonlight @bearheadedgirl @meeshell78 @ExoticMoonFlwer @KarenRowena @BunnyEars @VannyDel @SugarPlumKelly. Why? CUZ I SAID SO!
FOLLOW @aliceandkev because they're also Sims.
if I have to tell you why you should follow @billmaher, then you shouldn't be following me.
As always, follow @yokoono because she seems to understand what being is truly like.
Follow @eliroth because he loves his blueberries.
You should follow @cwm76 if you have a dirty mind. And if you're reading this, it means you do.
Did I already mention you should follow @MCSafetyScissor? Well do it. He's knocked up my granddaughter.
@MCSafetyScissor I somewhat resemble Kyla, minus the square jaw, so in a way yes, but the other way around.
@Nick_Sydney I can see that. He's incredibly smart and lovable. We share a birthday - January 20th. He only dates black chicks.
OMG AN HPV EPISODE OF DEGRASSI!
@johncmayer BOB MORANO. CRAWL MEYER
Will Sims for food! Would you like to contribute to my Sims fund? Your money goes towards Sims sets and hair. http://twurl.nl/115e75

http://twitpic.com/ncib7 - Going to sleep but here's a new strip featuring @bobmaron.
Dammit I can't wait to get my macbook back. No word yet.
@catdsilver I can't! Sims3 is incompatible with the whitebooks/blackbooks! Racist!
@catdsilver Wife, have you been reading my tweets at all for the past 3 days? If not, this marriage is over. I need someone who can keep up
@meeshell78 HALE YEAH! Get a refurbed one off the online store. Works well, saves money, same warranty.
@meeshell78 lemme show you what i have/what's in the shop right now
@catdsilver well then, let's keep having more babies
@meeshell78 I have this - http://bit.ly/2Kd8j
Ugh, where did that last update go!
@meeshell78 but this is $100 cheaper, same thing, different packaging: http://bit.ly/16lnFj
@catdsilver but don't get attached to any of them. They'll grow up faster than we will and move out before they're 10 years old.
@meeshell78 there's no difference between the two. Now's the best time to get a Whitebook though.
Fuck, I need to work for Apple. Wonder when I should call them back regarding my application. Applied Monday night online. Ideas?????????
@catdsilver I knew there was a reason I married you. It'd pay for that studio I've always wanted, right?
http://twitpic.com/m3571 - @catdsilver - here's your yacht.
@TwittleDeDum I'll call them tomorrow when I check up on the status of my repair. Great idea!
@TwittleDeDum Of course not! Follow away, thank you!
How come all the responses to this have the worst spelling? You dumb shits. http://bit.ly/2foSDP
Really beginning to think there should be a screening process to apply for a Twitter account.
http://twitpic.com/nf7ri - New Music Thursday.
@FindJohnAWife I miss my macbook. Until then, I'm stuck playing the Sims 2. Not as good. Not as smooth!
My macbook is on the bench to be worked on tomorrow morning. Should get it tomorrow night.
@cwm76 You couldn't have just waited until they introduced the iPhone?
@cwm76 You should come to our chat. Mara took off her shirt. http://www.zorap.com/bearheadedgirl

@jhnnystwrt thats awesome!
It's 10 o'clock. Therapist, get your ass out here.
Yes I just admitted I see a therapist to twitter. Don't like it? You can bitch about it on the internets.
@caitinlv That, my dear, is a goddamned lie.
@caitinlv i vote yes
Am watching Days of Our Lives. Stefano is fucking funny when he's mad.
I'm tired of seeing Brooke Shields in every single commercial on tv
@Sooseeh i <3 that guy. always
@Sooseeh don't even care that he's an asshole.
@cwm76 Would you get a discount if you bought both Log & Hog jam?
Retro Sims Strip coming up this evening.
@idlikethat thank you, my macbook that's compatible with the Sims 3 is in the shop. There's a screen defect. Should have it back by weekend.
http://twitpic.com/nc1gh - @JohncMayer as a Sim, as a child. Hopes and dreams from the beginning.
If this Cs4 download works, there should be a new strip up featuring @bobmaron before midnight.
South park now, Zorap later
I showed my mom the @johnmayerasasim strips and #mymomsaid I was clearly on crack.
http://twitpic.com/ncib7 - New strip. Because @bobmaron wondered why his hair couldn't look like that.
Is there a zorap going on tonight?

@GerrySummersy I want you to come to my house and dance for me. My address is as follows...
Hello my lovelies. Has anyone else gotten absolutely NOTHING done today? Oh really? Great. Good to know.
Just saw the lineup of partial tourdates for @johncmayer's Winter Tour. If he came to Albany in Winter, he'd have to play RPI or TimesUnion
I don't like either option and he no longer does small venues. I can wait.
@ben_mayer that reminds me of a home movies episode
I have these girls as my reference for people I don't know @VannyDel @MCSafetyScissor @bearheadedgirl @ExoticMoonFlowr @caitinlv
To be clear, @MCSafetyScissor is still all man. Despite what I may have tweeted earlier.
What did you learn this week?
http://twitpic.com/g6fup - The first strip @VannyDel clean up after yourself. I'll be in the studio.
@catdsilver ouch
@danewhite007 THAT sounds like an epic day. A+ day.
AND WHAT ABOUT MY FERRARI CAKE? #southpark
@bobmaron http://twitpic.com/n7wd5 - That's it, I'm gonna become a bar wench at a steak house.
My life, everybody. RT @cwm76: I really have to start going to bed earlier. I never manage to get enough sl-- Oooh! "The Departed" is on!
@cwm76 BTW What channel?
@sallyblock http://twitpic.com/mxazy - This is the house where I grew up from the ages 1 to 24. I miss it.
@hsutha it apparently takes 6 minutes to get from queens to the beacon theatre using the 1&7.
@hsutha I retract that. <~ retarded.

@BobMaron I really can't wait to be in the city next month. *sigh* Enjoy your stay in our time zone.
No sleep for the wicked they say. But even we must rest up.
Years later, you still need to clean up your sparkles. I don't care if our house never had any walls. No need for that shit. #lettertomyex
I really suck at falling asleep when I fucking say I'm going to.
@bobmaron http://twitpic.com/n1o9i - You can, it's called photoshop.
I was looking for an acronym for myself and now I have one. Kudos to @k8thompson! Long live JMAaS!
By the way, I have a new background pic.
@BobMaron I'll make a sim out of you and see what I can do with that hair of yours.
http://twitpic.com/n21t1 - I wish this were my home office.
http://twitpic.com/n21t1 - From left to right - my mom's busted Mac, my Starbucks my refurbed Macbook and the store's Macbook pro.
http://twitpic.com/n21t1 - Oh, and of course, @johnmayerasasim on my own computer. How couldn't I be on it. DUUUUUUUUHHHHH.
@catdsilver I still love you.
Upon seeing a new follower, all I have to say is what in the what-what is that? #donotwant
@ExoticMoonFlwer Awesome! I'm at the apple store right now and they're replacing my mom's hard drive for free, past warranty!
@cwm76 always remember to use a finger which has a simple, gentle filed down nail, or else risk nasal fissures.
@johncmayer Never read a goddamned thing that comes out of that message board. It's a horrible place filled with ungrateful people.
@johncmayer Nothing you do will ever be good enough for any of them. LIve your life, make your music. Meet a nice girl and have some babies.
@johncmayer ...then after that it's lather, rinse, repeat.
@marshallw I have a feeling yes
@marshallw i was referring to @johncmayer's tweets. But still it's general advice to stay away from taking message boards too seriously.
@ElizaisShy sorry, they don't make nude patches for the sims 3 that i can get to work
@marshallw Don't misunderstand, I'm on MSM. But there's a lot of backbiting. I never claimed to be more than who I was.
@marshallw svexsal.
@marshallw what's your name over there?
@cwm76 Convert to Judaism/pretend to. Get more gifts.

@cwm76 if you're still awake, you should come chat with us - http://www.zorap.com/caitlinlv we have one topless chick.
@bobmaron http://twitpic.com/muohu - That's the most adorable thing i've ever seen.
@Uilos i'm awake but i'm chattng with several hot women
btw, those latest tweets from @johncmayer are going to make for some excellent strips.
http://twitpic.com/mwu4s - Life is hard. Orig @johncmayer Tweet - http://is.gd/4B9TL
http://twitpic.com/mwu4s - @catdsilver they are the official old man shoes of the Sims3
Creating a new background. Get ready.
@MCSafetyScissor I dig your song. also, your love child with kyla is brewing.
Oh look a john mayer post. get on it girls!
@danewhite007 when was that?
@danewhite007 that's actually the only fucking episode i missed. i have to check out the on demand and see if they caught up
@danewhite007 well girl, sometimes I do suck as a human being. But never as a Sim.

am at my mom's...please hold.
@sallyblock http://twitpic.com/mp5wn - My Brother, pretending to be the NYC punks he hates.
@Fa_18 oh, lol. I just take his tweets and use them as captions for my Sims lives. No worries!
I just saw a commercial for a free piece of KFC grilled chicken and immediately thought of you guys/girls in my chatrooms.
http://twitpic.com/msx77 - I'M JUST TRYNA FEED MAH KEEDS!
http://twitpic.com/msx77 - I think his name is Julio or something. Whatever, not like I was there for his birth.
@MCSafetyScissor Nope. I haven't been able to play the game lately so your and Kyla's pregnancy is in limbo.
@catdsilver he's still there!
@uilos - the walls come and go, goddammit!
showing my mom what john mayer as a sim is. she will be proud, dammit.
@bloody_elf Serious? If you are, then you shouldn't follow me. Cause I tend to use that language in my strips.
http://twitpic.com/mt8k0 - I'm Dr. Rockzo, and I do cococo-caine! Sitting with my mom after showing her the @johnmayerasasim strips. Great h
@caitinlv my mom says hi back!

@bobmaron http://twitpic.com/mk78b - Ugh I miss hockey.
For a good time? Follow @bearheadedgirl @ElizES @VannyDel @meeshell78 @catdsilver @linzeeanne @caitinlv @onlybymoonlight #followfriday
My boys are: @Nick_Sydney @conormichael, @mcsafetyscissor. Follow them for a good time #followfriday.
Ever wonder how much you're worth? Only 1 person can tell you & you're dumb if you don't believe him. @BobMaron knows it all #followfriday.
Two wonderful pussies: @ChairmanMiaou and @sockington for the win #followfriday
Follow @mitchfatel because he's incredibly naturally funny #followfriday
He's not gay, he's Kevin. And he's awesome. And you'd know that if you followed @kevinmarshall. #followfriday
Like you need a reason to follow @yokoono. Just do it. It's a step closer to enlightenment. #followfriday.
Follow @eliroth because he's the bear jew and he'll smash your skull in if you don't. #followfriday
Follow @johncmayer. Actually don't. He's never going to respond to any of your tweets. He's going on tour soon. Not complaint, observation.
Yet you should follow @johncmayer because he's funny & his tweets give you pause. And he's talented. A rare combination of the above traits\
@fa_18 nope, I'm not @Johncmayer. Never even met him.
@drh3 been woo woo wooing all day. on my second cup of coffee and listening to Monty Python Radio.
@sallyblock http://twitpic.com/mm152 - How I spent my lunch. Worth the solitude in my car.
Look at my bottom bitches doing my follow friday work today. I'm so proud to be your pimp. Make that cash money.
@bearheadedgirl girl i'd so be your fucking date. i love being drunk at weddings. shiyiiiit.
@EEndacott why that's hilarious.
http://twitpic.com/hblnu - See, @catdsilver? Even as a Sim, I'm a pretentious Prius driver. Only mine is a 2010 white, and not an 08 gunmet
http://twitpic.com/jdvhp - I've since given myself a nosejob since this to make it more accurate: http://twitpic.com/mn171
On my way home. Twitter at y'all tonight!

@bobmaron i tried to DM you but you're not following me. not a problem. thanks for the info! is there a place to check the serial?
@infinitelove09 you sent him a package?
@InfiniteLove09 i was just asking a question is all?
@infinitelove09 then why did you even bother tweeting it publicly? i'm confused.
@InfiniteLove09 not a big deal at all, i was just curious.
@MCSafetyScissor goodnight!
@sallyblock http://twitpic.com/mfxk2 - I LOOK LIKE A GODDAMNED TRANNY.
http://twitpic.com/mflpe - @johncmayer - So it's not a scuba mask/set of jewelers glasses but it's the best I can do.
http://twitpic.com/m3571 - @stalksage i take his tweets and use them as captions. when there's an awesome set or release, i use my own aweso
Woke up this morning to the email notification that @bobmaron was now following. Sorry haters: I will never stop making strips. To the left.
@BunnyEars he reminds me of my dad. love that fucking guy. omg.
@bearheadedgirl @bunnyears - stupid people. and people who haven't met him.
@pixolita http://twitpic.com/miukm - oh aren't you adorable! I counter kiss with this! http://twitpic.com/mizpw
If you'd like to contribute to purchasing sets or weird items for the @JohnMayerAsaSim strips, you can easily do so here: http://is.gd/4wyv8
@VannyDel I'll be there in 9 days.
@VannyDel boobies!
@Lil_Liami that seems kind of tiny.
@cwm76 Well that all depends on your passion for wood and beating hard things.

Oh dear, tired and 1 hour left of work. @mcsafetyscissor was kind enough to ask how I was feeling. Rest of y'all are useless.
@johncmayer that's gomna be an epic strip. thank you.
and now i create. back after "it's always sunny"
http://twitpic.com/meqey - @bobmaron if you could tell me the model of this Cartier watch, that'd be great.#tweetyourwatch
http://twitpic.com/meqey - @tonyheld this was my grandmother's. I don't want to say I looted it from her when she died. But it's mine now. #
http://twitpic.com/meqey - @bobmaron - and it goes without saying, how much it's worth, haha
@cwm76 I'll create a special strip for it.
http://twitpic.com/mfdgb - That little girl needs to GTFO out my house. New Strip.
http://twitpic.com/mfdgb - @catdsilver she was spinning about to celebrate her birthday and i had to make it all about me.
http://twitpic.com/mflpe - Two for Wednesday! You're all a bunch of fours!
@cwm76 Justin and Mara took their shirts off for you: http://www.zorap.com/jhysler

@RosannaConner How dare you insinuate I don' tknow how to w00thoo0! BANHAMMAR!
@PIXOLITA I AM FOLLOWING YOU NOW!
@bearheadedgirl where you at?
@yearinla I highly doubt that.
@meganrabren you are awesome.
@bobmaron http://twitpic.com/m7t6q - Oh dude. I'm so there.
I have some great women in my harem. Thank you for a wonderful night. That includes you @mcsafetyscissor. Gnite all!
Y'all can be in my harem. But @catdsilver is my bottom bitch. Respect her.
If someone doesn't move their fucking car, I'm gonna vomit on a random SUV. Not sure if it's b/c I'm sick or b/c I took aleve on empty stom
@PaulaJacobson hehe.
@PaulaJacobson so am I funny or scary? I'm confused and intrigued.
@PaulaJacobson oh well to each their own :) it's just for fun, like my profile says.
@catdsilver I would love that
Hey isn't there a way to use your mouse as a remote?
@kweenie can't control my playlist remotely without a remote
@kweenie i know, i realized shortly after i hit enter
bathtime! shhhh!
If I really was a sim, I wouldn't have these bullshit problems. I wouldn't get sick, I could fix my own damn shower.
Then my life would be in the hands of a 26 year old Jewish girl who hasn't gotten laid in 5 months. But at least I would have over $1 mil.
*buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp.*
http://johnmayerasasim.livejournal.com/
@onlybymoonlight so you're essentially two timing the initial bag. Classy. I dig it.
@onlybymoonlight I. Fully. Approve.
OH MY OH MY OH = bully beatdown.
i could fall asleep ON my cat. wtf.
i guess this means it's time to make some strips...or play the game. @catdsilver you're gonna get knocked up again. getting rid of belvedere
More python.
@VannyDel why wait for food? or are you sick too?
@VannyDel @sugarplumkelly oh great. my stomach has been effed up all day.

VENTURE BROTHERS!
@bearheadedgirl gnite sicko :)
http://twitpic.com/m300i - @onlybymoonlight mild or spicy?
http://twitpic.com/m300i - @onlybymoonlight I'll just take watermelon. Honey bbq ain't really my style. I've tagged @bobmaron for Mara.
@conormichael i'd lol
http://twitpic.com/m300i - @bobmaron - You're welcome.
http://twitpic.com/m3571 - Even though @bobmaron isn't in this one, I thought it was pretty funny.
oh god...data entry suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.
It's 6:30 and I'm in my fucking pajamas. HALLO EVERYBODY!
@johncmayer - According to my best guy friend @kevinmarshall, his official name is AtticKid.
@sketchanddoodle sketch meg? allo!
@sketchanddoodle meg. pffffffffft. #notsoobscurefamilyguyreferencesthatfailinreallife
@sketchanddoodle it works for me. It's BEEN working for me. I don't understand it :)
@johncmayer is a lucky fuck that I had to print out my massage therapy school application or else I just wouldn't fucking bother.
@BILL COSBY IS ON TWITTER. YOU FOLLOW HIM OR HE'LL SEND YOU BACK TO THE STONE AGES.
FOLLOW @BILLCOSBY OR HE'LL SEND YOU BACK TO DIAL-UP
@onlybymoonlight I...really hate that guy.
@onlybymoonlight ha
Maybe 'Intervention' is coming for me. Maybe they're gonna film an episode about my addiction to the Sims. I'm not worried. I'm not scared.
I need dinner. Someone get over here and make it for me. Address is as follows...
@uilos on aim: 'lol, oh god. Just imagined you as John Mayer as a Sim for Halloween.' I have no dick & I'm 5'5. Either way I'm short 9inches
@johncmayer http://twitpic.com/m6z9x - That is the sexiest thing I've ever seen.
Oh hay, now. Battle Studies will be released on vinyl. Can't talk. My turntable is fapping away.
pining for the fjords

@MCSafetyScissor but oh look, it's Harvey Keitel. And I'm reminded that I haven't been drunk in 2 weeks.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand then I hit mute for five minutes.
@MCSafetyScissor that was the best thing ever. Tom Hanks, get your hand out of the jar. WIll someone please help TOm Hanks!?
Why are they letting a goat perform on SNL? #SNL
@danewhite007 all the time, my love, all the time.
@MCSafetyScissor you made me go to hulu and watch it
Okay, tell me Bill Hader could not play @johncmayer right now.
I love that Seth Meyers gave me a personal shout out. That was great. #SNLWeekendUpdate
@Sillak SPAM?
@Sillak or are you Rick Rolling me?
YAY a local shoutout to my boys over at RPI.
I'm guessing that Gerald Butler isn't ready for his cue?
I am so confused as to what the fuck is going on right now. But of course, there's Kristin Wiig. #SNL.
Fred Armisen would make an amazing @jianghomeshi. #snl
That looks like the robot who's always dry humping the washing machine on Robot Chicken #SNL
@Sillak I do not know what to say. Thank you but I am not John Mayer?
@Sillak It's sweet though :)
@cwm76 Please see that John sees this video. Someone sent it to me. It's really heartfelt but I'm not him so uhm - http://twurl.nl/pnsb34
I feel like doing a late night chat. Where my girls at?
I can't piss myself any more than I already have. I'm pissed out!
@VannyDel sweet...lemme make some hot cocoa
http://twitpic.com/lzo42 - New home
http://twitpic.com/lzo7n - New haircut. New game. Same old bullshit. Back soon.
@StalkSage wtf time is it there? it's 1:55am here in the states. i'm sleepy
@sabilbidubip Please redirect all tweets to @johncmayer.
@BobMaron thank you so much for all of that tonight! - Sally
@Chanosky aww
@cwm76 your new photo looks like you're saying 'Can you believe this shit?'
Look it, everybody, there's an article about me. Well, not ME but @sallyblock. So it's more awesome than me. Trufax. http://bit.ly/ZKJvw
So help me god, if you assholes from last night got me sick...I'm looking at you: @conormichael @SugarPlumKelly @VannyDel @BobMaron
and of course, my beloved @catdsilver...from way down in Florida.
@kweenie oh ick!
so you're like a mix of the both of us
@kweenie that last tweet was for you
@kweenie the fuck does being fat have to do with it?
@kweenie that's a goddamned shame.
With my sleep schedule so off kilter, I'm afraid of putting pen to paper because it's going to sound like a 4th grade book report.
@kweenie No, it's alright, people gotta know that these issues exist, which is why I linked it to both profiles
@kweenie happy happy world in which only certain people get sick. It doesn't work that way. Young people get sikc too and then wtf do you do
@kweenie good because my awesomeness is only further extended across the plains
@kweenie and shit happens, people need references, which is why I was so willing to talk about it to the reporter in that article.
@kweenie I'm 26 and I'm on welfare. It's not comfortable to talk about. Why should I be the only who's uncomfortable with it? Wake up.
@kweenie what state do you live in? go to your local social services dept and ask about foodstamps and medicaid. it doesn't hurt to ask.
@kweenie it doesn't have anything to do, with my case, with who will hire you or not. that's unemployment.
@kweenie And I completely agree. It's not just going to go away if you ignore the potholes in society. It's happening to your friends.
I wonder how many packets of Sugar in the Raw I've put into my coffee because my short term memory is blown to shit today. 5? Who are you?
@kweenie wonder why what?
@kweenie yeah, if i had an answer to that for both of us, I would have a job myself :)
@kweenie Yes :) There's a lot that goes undeserved in this nation. Lots of shifting that happens and it's abhorrent.
@kweenie wtf, right?
@StalkSage oh thank you, my dear! I like knowing that people are entertained by them! you have a wonderful day!
http://twitpic.com/lzo42 - Holy shit, @johncmayer! You could be on a boat, motherfucker! John Mayer, as a Sim. Coming back,
Looking for Sims scuba gear
wearing striped socks with floral shoes with blue jeans and a striped shirt. I am the epitome of awesomeville today.
@SugarPlumKelly that room is the only way an apple computer can get a virus, ffs
@scuba_gear please stop :)
@catdsilver - I hope you're feeling better!!!!!
Get ready @bobmaron. You will be featured in my next strip. Feel lucky
Dear firefox - get your shit together. Love always.
tell them i'm not here...
Dear @johncmayer - wtf is this? http://i37.tinypic.com/2q0153o.jpg
@VannyDel that's my favorite word (#namaste)
http://twitpic.com/m300i - For @bobmaron. A priceless painting within a new strip.
2 strips in one night. You all are lucky.
@VannyDel You too!
When was the first Mayercraft? 08? 07?
@SugarPlumKelly i was thinking so! thank you!
http://twitpic.com/m34rp - 2058: A look into the future for the 50th Mayercraft Carrier.
http://twitpic.com/m3571 - Original @johncmayer status http://twurl.nl/wrhw0b
New strip:2058: A look into the future for the 50th Mayercraft Carrier. http://twitpic.com/m3571
@VannyDel did you see this one? http://twitpic.com/m300i
@BunnyEars I enjoy photoshop. It's my best friend.
"Hay Laronduh! No, I got four people on hold but I can talk!"
@bearheadedgirl I'd only let it go if he's within $40 of the actual retail price.
@danewhite007 NO THAT'S AMERICAN BOY!

@adamlevine you know that writing about it won't help!
it's the brak show
oh my god, i need to get a life
@johncmayer you really are taking over for Miley, aren't you?
@cwm76 You know what they say: Loser buys the bowling alley. Unless it was Wii bowling. Rules aren't in yet.
@shenaniganjenn okay i'm going to bed. it's 330am here. and i don't care if there's another JM birthday chat tonight, i'm effing exhausted
@rinygrin - M. Ward is the best music to have sex to. I know everyone thought I would say @johncmayer but no.
oh fuck, it's a Don Johnston movie. I'm out.
My mom called to tell me 'who says' AND John Mayer were going to be on TV. That's love.
@ellebees just remember, that girl is poison.
@ellebees you tell him 'Let's cure it 'cause we're running out of time '
You think by now, I'd know the shape of calling home....
@StalkSage I had to re-download it a few minutes ago when I realized I'd misplaced it!
@StalkSage oh yes, found it on a mix cd i had
@StalkSage when i get paid, i'm gonna do the same
@StalkSage no, I haven't uploaded the Sim I use to the Sims exchange. But you could probably make one similar to the Sim. Good question! :)
@StalkSage he does that, lemme find a pic!
Taking a little time out, guys! Moving into a new house and having another baby in my old age because apparently,... http://bit.ly/17TUnq
Okay, apparently my facebook page can update my twitter but not the other way around. Effing facebook POS.
http://twitpic.com/g6fvy - Well, here's @johnmayerasasim playing guitar in his boxers. It's the best I can do. Oldie but goodie.
Newsflash - I hate 'Daughters.' Probably said it before but I hate it. Probably because it hits close to home but whatever, done.
@StalkSage 'Dreaming With a Broken Heart.' It's touched me the most. This feels like an interview. Glad I'm wearing pants.
@catdsilver I mean it the most :) I love you
@johncmayer what was in the omelet? sparkles?
@StalkSage No it's fine. I dig interviews. I want more of them. I wish people would ask me more questions.
@StalkSage No but I've gone to 6 shows, met former guitarist Michael Chaves (signed Room for Squares) & been in a late night chatroom w/him
@StalkSage i see the push and pull for him to come to different places and people get angry thinking he HATES certain places. It's ridic.
@BobMaron One of my favorite memories of the week was you telling someone on cam 'Oh You're beautiful!' It was really sweet. I dunno why.
writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing writing.....
@StalkSage And it just makes me wonder how much of a say John Mayer really has in the matter of where he tours. He cannot be everywhere.
@LadyofShalott06 Who wouldn't like that song? it's awesome. Shit.
@StalkSage I hope he does. He's awesome live. And if you get to see him in a small setting, even better. He rarely does that over here.
RT @kweenie: #youhaveanicebodybut I'd never date anyone that can't spell anything.
Whitest Kids U'Know - Movie Pitching Guy. -http://bit.ly/iUCjn
Also Gardasil approved for Men 9-26. Considering there's currently no test for HPV in males, y'all might wanna get it. http://is.gd/4oihQ
"HEY KID, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" hitting this building with a hammer "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" uh huh, my parents are dead!'
@cwm76 If you give him a shitty tip, it will appear as: Received $0.27 from Carl Mayer. Glad I spat in his cheesy bread. Douchebag.
@cwm76 I repeat: Hope you tipped well or it will appear as: Received $0.27 tip from Carl Mayer. Glad I spat in his cheesy bread. Douchebag.
Watching Pretty Woman for the first time ever. I'm a 26 year old woman and this is the first time I've ever seen it. Don't judge me.
@kweenie oh good! i'm not alone
@ecctv well thank god for that
it smells like a giant cat mouth in here. ugh.
The Rock Obama, again?
Yeah, take that Ewan McGregor, you sexy motherfucker
My hatred for Kristin Wiig knows no bounds
@MCSafetyScissor it's because she is massively overused and it doesn't help that she is NOT funny.
Fuck, Bill Hader and the Digital Sketches are the only reasons to watch this show anymore #SNL
@cwm76 I'm sorry. I'd like to argue that the previews for The Office were the funniest thing about SNL so far.
FUCKING FUCK KRISTIN WIIG SUCK MY SIMBALLS. I swear to God. If I were playing a Kristin Wiig drinking game I'd have been hammered by 11:15.
Damn right you like a big ass...#SNL.

@catdsilver You are, but they're living in a substandard house until I get everything tgether.
Oh look, a John Mayer post on ONTD...and I'm too jacked up on Benadryl to do anything.
There's the wank I ordered.
@cwm76 was he in a basket or was he left there in a blanket like Benjamin Button?
Happy Birthday, @johncmayer! Without you, I would not have created this account to annoy people with! It would probably be about tictacs...
@cwm76 like one of those Asian kittens? Appropos.
@cwm76 well, only because of his affinity for the Japanese.
@danewhite007 it's cool and normal. I wonder if it makes me elite now :)
"Yeah but while I was wearing your dad's pants last night..."
@danewhite007 but it doesn't because I'm just a fan. Not a stan.
Why is it 1:30? fix that, someone
@danewhite007 @cwm76's actually responded once before, about my suggesting he get @johncmayer to buy him that gold fleshlight he wanted.
Pee Wee's big adventure is on MTV2!
@danewhite007 they're both four letter words, lol
@ShenaniganJenn I guess I should tell everyone now that I'm actually one of their long lost cousins, right? No.
@adamlevine has a twitter!
Time to read up on my @johncmayer fanfiction and make myself feel superior as a human by pointing out all the grammar errors! #happybirthday
actually, that's a lie. i'm gonna go to sleep.
Simone: Do you have any dreams?
Pee-wee: Yeah, I'm all alone. I'm rolling a big doughnut and this snake wearing a vest...
It appears I've lied again. Is there anyone on my google chat right now?
No. Okay, going to sleep. #happybirthdayjohnmayer!
Sleeptime. Ugh.
@tryjm is he in it tonight?
just joined a video chat with 54 other people at http://tinychat.com/happybirthdayjohn #tinychat http://tinychat.com
@ShenaniganJenn you should show up in there, seriously
@ShenaniganJenn i just want to know where one person is
@danewhite007 they got there first or something
just joined a video chat at http://bit.ly/57BPG #tinychat http://tinychat.com
In all actuality ,i dunno why i started that chat. i'm fucking tired and i'm probably going to go to sleep in 4 minutes
just joined a video chat with 36 other people at http://tinychat.com/happybirthdayjohn #tinychat http://tinychat.com
@danewhite007 awww never seen him live?
Oh look, a john mayer ONTD post
@johncmayer http://twitpic.com/lqtok - So...you're a Gap model now? I dig.
a part of my scalp is twitching. i think someone's talking about me.
@catdsilver that totally works for me :)
@catdsilver NO! that's insane!
@MCSafetyScissor i still dig it
@catdsilver then i'd LOVE to be there. I have no hit singles in my arsenal.
@catdsilver Ian Somherhalder was only good in 2 things: Rules of Attraction and Lost. Nothing else.
@catdsilver I used to know someone who looked like his friend Richard, so I would always think "it's not Richard, it's DICK, DIIIIIIIIIICK!"
@TryJM your site is down :(
@thomaslennon it's gonna take a hell of a lot longer than that to get from NY to LA. Unless you have a teletransporter
@adamlevine sounds like a Sundance winner
@catdsilver dick dick dick dick dick dick dick
John Mayer wank really is the lamest wank I've ever stumbled into.
Follow Friday again, innit it? Okay, let's have at it.
Follow the following @johncmayer fans because they truly are elite: @yearinla, @whycarolina. they stray from the hype
Follow @eddieizzard because he's awesome #followfriday
Like Lost? LOVE LOST? Follow @ack_ She is brilliant #followfriday
Need advice regarding your Apple products? Follow @TUAW
So far, @cwm76 is the only Mayer brother to ever respond to my tweets. Gold ones. I still think John should buy him one. I'm so classy. #ff
Follow @elvisduran even if you can't get a station he airs on. #followfriday
Last night in a chat, @BobMaron said that someone on cam was beautiful. It made my heart sing and him my fave person. #followfriday
Follow @ChairmanMiaou. Nuff said. #followfriday
Like Toothpastefordinner.com/Marriedtothesea/NatalieDee.com? Follow @drewtoothpaste. He's funny. #followfriday
From one sim to another, @aliceandkev is a brilliant, heartbreaking story of homelessness in the Sim world. A must follow for everyone. #ff
Follow @billmaher - because he has important thoughts and we share a birthday. Too bad I'm not a black chick, I hear he digs them. #ff
Follow @yokoono - She knows how to just BE. Not many women these days can say that.
Follow @ecctv - She's a great ONTD mod and she loves the sims as much as I do. Together, we have no lives.
Follow @BearJewFacts and @eliroth. It's fandom done Right. And hairy.
Follow @kevinmarshall - he knows how to act and to make Jews cry. just ask me. It's remarkable. ##followfriday
Follow @mitchfatel because he's really funny. i'd let him see my panties any day of the week.
Follow @shenaniganjenn and @ladyofshalott06 because I said so. I'm like your mom. #followfriday
Follow @catdsilver, my latest SimWife. She is the mother of my youngest - Belvedere. #followfriday
follow @jason_pollock because he's got his fingers on the pulse
Follow @@ChairmanMiaou be careful, if you drink that you're gonna die.
@ChairmanMiaou oh that's right! also stay away from onions. they're bad for you!
@ChairmanMiaou you would be dead.
@eliroth I was wrong when I said bravo took quotes out of context. It's VH1.
@eliroth ugh, they did this at a nearby high school here in Albany, NY. Interrupted traffic, had to delay classes so the kids wouldn't see.
Wondering wtf I am? take a gander at this: http://twitpic.com/jdvhp
#Listeningfriday: Who's gonna save my soul - Gnarls Barkley
Kids, what did we learn in kindergarten? No, not naptime for everyone. Something about sharing, right? Yes, good. Now, drink your fluoride.
Put that bottle hatorade susie, Susie. Why did you bring that into class? Show and tell is tomorrow. Yes, I know it's a Saturday.
Children, you need to be awa-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET DOWN FROM THE JUNGLE GYM! THAT'S IT! No more playtime for you. I'm calling your mom.
Mrs. Borderbray, this is Mrs. Johnson from CrayCray elementary. Your child, no the other one, no...the other one. Well, it's bad this time.
I'm not saying you didn't raise your kid right, I'm just saying they need a bottle of 'Act Right' before they go into the world *hangs up.*
Oh, shi- you mean I didn't hang up on you. Fine take your kid out of my class. They've already eaten up half of my GOOD students. Fat ass!
Hope you all enjoyed this reading of Substitute Nutjobs on Ice. Now back to your regularly scheduled tweeting. Keep it real.
@ShenaniganJenn Has anyone replied to you that John Mayer could tear them apart anytime he wants? If not, I'm shocked.
@ellebees a good one
@ellebees one who i am following
@ellebees i'm going to follow you under my regular account - @sallyblock.
Why is it so hard to understand that if you don't like what someone tweets, ignore it. Then it's your fault if go out of your way to see it.
I'm basically saying I agree with everything @shenaniganjenn was tweeting for the past 4 minutes. Y'all should take notice, training bras.
@ellebees someone should tell him. It would be a great birthday present. Better than a blowjob, here's some wank.
Okay, time to rebuild my house
@KevinMarshall you making me cry? awesome.
@KevinMarshall There would have been photographic evidence but the baby went into a supernatural rage
I just found THE perfect house for my family to move into. Get ready @catdsilver
RT @LeadToday: Be nice to your children, they are going to choose your nursing home one day.
@KevinMarshall http://bit.ly/ABhrn
I would watch Scott Bakula in anything.
@johncmayer http://twitpic.com/ltrps - Go for the saggy boobied one that says 'I don't know.'
@Catdsilver I'll drive you home. I'll be there in 24 hours.

Everything on my mac is taking for fucking ever tonight
I just want to play my sims and I can't figure out which file it is that's causing everything to go to shit.
My game needs to stop being such a fuck up.
I have to do a complete uninstall
@ecctv me too, but it's because of my sims
Yeah...I'm gonna have to do a reinstall...and it's gonna fucking suck.
But some people are going to be happy that there won't be any strips for a few days.
However, it will mean a new house for my beloved @johnmayerasasim
late night reinstalling the sims.
@ShenaniganJenn you tell your friend that THEY can go to surfthechannel or hulu
@wenyeelo that is a georgeous computer
Tell him, Err, with your Parallelogram mouth.
I just know that if I get a phone call at 4:30 from Dr. Rockzo I would hang up immediately and hope it was a prank call from David Lee Roth.
I hate that everyone's coming out of the woodwork to criticize the father's habits as this is unraveling. Way to go America. #kidballoon
It looked like a jiffy pop bag
Please, do not crash my effing game again.
Effing kid was home all along? wtf.
Dear Quentin Tarantino - Don't fuck up the Kill Bill series and make a 3rd one. Carradine is dead. I know it hurts to remember. I love you.
@johncmayer and half of them are too fucking stupid to know he was a real person, not just someone Alec Baldwin played on SNL.
@johncmayer Where's the part in the video for where you tweeted to us? Can't pinpoint it. You lie.
gimme a fucking break, a migraine now? okay, benadryl here I come.
Pre-op trans Centaur!
oh look, steve buscemi

@catdsilver I wonder how many others get my updates as an SMS
@catdsilver sometimes, I do
@catdsilver btw you shouldn't be drinking. you just went into labor
@catdsilver names or stfu
@catdsilver Belvedere
@danewhite007 thank you - i fucking hate that song too
@danewhite007 I fall for Say when it's live. The backup instrumental loop they play suckers me all the time.
Going to sleep in my kneehigh socks this evening.
@catdsilver you link and you link now!
@catdsilver - Oh look, I'm gonna spam an ONTD post. come join me?
Watching this video and I'm wondering if it's weird to sing a long to a song while your friends go along with their shit
@catdsilver i'm not really going to. i'm exhausted from doing nothing productive today. will talk tomorrow
dear @johncmayer - you cannot dance. congratulations for proving it though. love always, your simself.
I was right? The lyrics were actually 'Ruby Soho'? Awesome 1995!
I don't know what to do/be for Halloween
Where is my internet wank?
Downloading Body Hair for my sims.
@Krilymcc Not at all! - http://bit.ly/VZzM9
i think...I think Burkey has a wonky eye!
@kweenie you also have two twitter accounts?
@johncmayer But more importantly, is it hot for teacher?
Question for fellow SIMS, in order to get certain custom hairs to show, I have to delete the womens fauxhawk that came with the game. How?
@kweenie ha me too. this one, @sallyblock and @svexsal, the last one because it's my AIM screenname and i wanted to keep it.
@kweenie are you sockington?
@kweenie cause omg if you are...
Oh I'm following @ChairmanMiaou right this instant.
Okay, so one custom hair is workin.
@cwm76 Print it out and mail it to him.
Why Celine Dion is so "amazing" - http://bit.ly/169xJW
@theroxy You should play 'Goonies R Good Enough' and 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' in his honor.
@idlikethat where was the scene where he tweets to all of us?
Oh great, I just lost a whole town on my Sims game.
@TheSims3 More time in the studio
This is taking forever...
YAY my Sims finally closed. Only took 20 minutes.
@sarahjoybrown did you miss being blonde?
I think I want to move out of Albany
Wow there are 10,000 jobs in DC. Lemme look.
Oh look, a post on ONTD wherein he's depicted as a douchebag. @SHENANIGANJENN, WHERE ARE YOU!?
@ShenaniganJenn did you see my comment? i made it extra hard for you
@ShenaniganJenn Everyone says A+ work lately. I would like to give some people F+++
@ShenaniganJenn jacked what? your attitude towards him? be proud it's rubbed off.
Dear sims game - step it the eff up, tonight!
@ellebees one of my former friend's eyebrows are so far apart, you could fit a dick between them. I call her, the "Dickenbrau"
Quit trying to sell SMIZE on us, Tyra. You fail.
@ellebees And it's a great code name for whenever I see that bitch in public.
@ShenaniganJenn I've written an A on your tweet and circled it several times.
I'm sorry, Sundai(e) needed to fucking go.
Ooooh, Modern Family time.
For the record, no self-respecting girl named Sally would sell her kisses for a dollar.
I love Butters. I love Butters so much. Omfg.
"You're a bitch, Sally!" - Butters, #SouthPark.
Those are some dirty #SouthPark cops.
"You were made for the playground, bitch!"
@eliroth If it's Bravo, they probably took spots of what you said before
@eliroth at least it's not E! It's always out of context. 'How do you feel about bunnies, Eli?' "Go fuck yourself!" Eli Roth, ca. 2002, WTF?
I love it: http://bit.ly/ABhrn

@JonforMayor I'm so glad you're back
@catdsilver If your eating disorder could grow up and learn to speak and one day cure cancer...or be aborted.
@catdsilver The sims do not allow for abortions, no matter how much @johnmayerasasim bitches about his house being cluttered
@catdsilver it's far too late. she's like 8 months along.
Where is the love? It's right here: RT @catdsilver: Dear world, @johnmayerasasim is kinda the best thing to happen to twitter since the ...
@catdsilver http://twitpic.com/lb71v - Love it
@catdsilver that's just classy
Why am I awake? Best answer gets a personalized strip mailed to them. #probablyneverfulfillingthis
@catdsilver It's highly possible!
@kweenie Oh where did you come from? I like!
@kweenie and you appear to know @catdsilver. for this, i follow you
http://twitpic.com/lc9d3 - @johncmayer, when you vomit, it's more of a technicolor rainbow, isn't it? Oh well. BABIES!
@kweenie ahhh! so am i!
okay kiddies, i need to sleep, badass or not :)
I want this to be his last marriage - http://twitpic.com/lc9d3
@infiniteLove09 that Mother Theresa quote is a good one
Time to run. time to run.
@TheSims3 playing catch, vomiting, being pregnant, doing science projects.
@wwhistleblower I'd love to be one of you, not just because I'm not one of them but because I'd like to get it.
@wwhistleblower well that's good to hear. I was feeling shitty today and that made me feel better. Besides, John Mayer =/= a Sim. Duh :-D
Regarding Stephen Gately, how do you die of natural causes at 33? #idontgetit
Ooh, Die Hard is on. And the scene where the douchebag sales guy dies is happening. Awesome times for everybody!
@Lbcute That's PP for you!
@Lbcute One of the Encore channels and Planned Parenthood
@Lbcute They always operate on their own time zone there
@ellebees I feel like she looks like Drew Barrymore speaks. Does that make sense?
I'm Agent Johnson, this is special Agent Johnson. No relation.
@cwm76 Bonus points if this happened at Woodbury
@cwm76 why would you say that?
I am NOT downloading Ed Hardy shirts for the sims
However, Disney babies t-shirts? Yes
@WWhistleblower I didn't know that Twitter was meant to be a pissing contest over who could have the most accounts. Guess I'm losing with 2.
@WWhistleblower Well, 3 if you count @svexsal, I wanted to squat that account cause it's my AIM name. WTF ever.
@kweenie I have no idea wtf happened to him
I BOUGHT HOT COCOA TODAY!
I do not understand the appeal of Colbie Callait.
@WWhistleblower I feel like you're talking about Eli Roth.
WTF there were only 4 marshmallows in this packet of hot cocoa? Swiss miss? Swiss LIES!
@petewentz do you have health care?
Can't wait to hear rumours about John Mayer and Jessica Simpson reunions considering they're both in NYC right now...waiting.
Maybe I should go manage an IHop
@catdsilver do you get SMS updates to your phone from me? kudos. it's on :)

Ugh, this is more horrible than I remember. Popping in When Harry Met Sally.
@danewhite007 it has some of the best dialogue
"Why don't you tell me the story of your life?" *SPLAT*
"Do it to me, Sheldon. You're an animal Sheldon. Ride me, big Sheldon. It doesn't work."
@InfiniteLove09 "When Harry Met Sally" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098635/quotes
@InfiniteLove09 please refer to my previous tweets
@InfiniteLove09 Billy Crystal's Harry says it doesn't work. It implies that someone named Sheldon can't please a woman. See the movie! :)
@johncmayer So your advice when listening to your parents is to pretty much ignore the last few words of every sentence?
http://twitpic.com/l86fl - Original @johncmayer tweet http://twitter.com/johncmayer/status/3412522238
Get ready for @johncmayer's new song - "Let's all swim together in the codependent sea" http://twitpic.com/l86fl
@catdsilver You should be particularly interested in this new pic.
Goodnight everybody - http://twitpic.com/l86fl
Thanks for the add, @priscillanh
#ruleofrelationships? There aren't any, just don't be a dick. Okay, seriously. Going to bed.
Going out without any product in my hair. I'm SCURRED.
@johnmayerasasim is speaking in 3rd person for a short time period today
@johnmayerasasim is happy that there is an unlocked internet signal at the laundromat.
@johnmayerasasim is waiting for the good dryers to open up. A quarter for nine minutes is better than eight minutes. #yallbetterrecognize
@ecctv - @johnmayerasasim suggests Jiggy as a name for the Duggars. Imagine it, Jiggy Duggar. Class-ay.
Guess what? You cannot cleanse your body with a diet. You CAN do it naturally though. Here's how: go to the bathroom and do your bidnass.
That 'Asshole' song by Denis Leary sounds better the louder you play it #obvious
song of the day - Journey "Faithfully"
@cwm76 Nothing says holidays year round like pushing past a 72 year old woman on a hoverround. She's FAKING it. Is that a GAP outlet?
@cwm76 all jokes aside, I miss Woodbury Commons. I haven't been there in at least a decade. Any good deals?
@jason_pollock I miss LA. never lived there but I'm sure I'd last about a year.
What classiness has my OkCupid inbox brought me this evening?
@johncmayer unless they're made with the Meth they try to sell as Splenda. In which case, those are called Drug Cookies.
@rainnwilson My brother. Or my dad could find someone, he's got connections.
"What are you telling me, that you're gonna leave Emily...And run away with the winner of the Zelda Fitzgerald emotional maturity award? "
MANHATTAN FTW - I love any movie that utilizes Rhapsody In Blue.
Oh, Annie Hall is on IFC starting in 10 minutes.
@rinygrin HAPPY CANADIAN THANKSGIVING, MY DEAR!
http://twitpic.com/lc9d3 - Elderly @johncmayer is married now. My heart must move on. I don't think I can.
@danewhite007 ha!

Eh...speaking of your breasts...
It really sucks when I'm trying to get married but my game is slow
@ecctv I love that you love #hader as much as I do. This bodes well for #ontd
@ecctv oh, I KNOW!
tampax, helping you relax when mother nature attacks your slacks.
Love the Perez Hilton reference without mentioning his name. Thank you Drew! That douche doesn't deserve it!
I think i might start a video chat tonight.
@danewhite007 ha, i haven't taken mine off. the bra is off though.
I just made it so that the only songs that play in my Sims custom music are 'Careless Whisper' and 'Who Says.'
@catdsilver You have no idea how much @johnmayerasasim cannot dance
@catdsilver http://bit.ly/3w12tF
@catdsilver you s hould be hearing careless whisper. but you are not
@catdsilver our wedding just started. we are getting married in the park
@catdsilver OH HERE IT COMES!
@catdsilver YOU DIDN'T HEAR SOUND BECAUSE I DIDN'T ENABLE IT. GOD I SUCK
@catdsilver i have a new video for you
Hey cat...http://bit.ly/tB0ne
If this is you totally clean and you're working at 'Who Let the Clogs Out?'
@catdsilver You should come in here: Tinychat.com/Johnmayerasasim
just joined a video chat at http://tinychat.com/johnmayerasasim Make your own video chat at http://tinychat.com #tinychat
@catdsilver I'm just sitting here chilling with movie
@catdsilver i mean, music
just joined a video chat at http://tinychat.com/johnmayerasasim Make your own video chat at http://tinychat.com #tinychat
Pussycam! I just joined a video chat at http://tinychat.com/johnmayerasasim Make your own video chat at http://tinychat.com #tinychat
just joined a video chat at http://tinychat.com/johnmayerasasim Make your own video chat at http://tinychat.com #tinychat
@ecctv gnite liz!
Goodnight all!
@Krilymcc I would hate the waiting as well.
@Krilymcc i've been fired once, let go due to lack of work once, and i don't know what i would've done if they drew it out.
@Krilymcc that's just bad business. Sorry you have to deal with that shit
I need to do laundry tomorrow. There is so much piling up. It's insane.
WIILSON!
Anyone having issues with My Stupid Mouth? Or did I just bitch about it too much yesterday and now experiencing Karma?
@catdsilver hay baby
@ecctv LOVE it
I've gotten absolutely nothing done today.
@catdsilver lol
WHY WOULD I WANT A BLACK TACO? THAT SOUNDS DISGUSTING, TACO BELL!
@danewhite007 making people like me/@sallyblock feel better about myself
You know what would be nice? If the custom content I wanted to run on my Sims could actually run on my Sims. Followed the directions, too.
Why do I have a feeling that the Simpson's billboard 'When a Man Gloves a Woman' is going to piss some people off?
I love Cleveland Jr. I'm sorry.
@ellebees <3
This is not why they call me the elephant man
turrible
I could make a video to "Who Says" with the Sims.
@ellebees it would be very low quality and i do not know how to edit.
Roll some joints and get high
Ha, he just called him Egon.
@AfterElton - What about a live MadMen chat? There's some spicy stuff going on right now...
stfu i want to watch Mad Men
@AfterElton A fellow Ad partner (?) threatened to have him fired for not putting out. I'm not sure. My viewing got interrupted. 11pm show :(
This just in - @JohncMayer is somewhere walking or breathing. He might even be eating something.
@ecctv it's breaking up with you
Debating a tinychat video chat, if i can get my hair to cooperate.
@danewhite007 yeah, i dunno where it happened. but apparently he does it every day. i heard he farts.
@vidrioman that's delightful
@danewhite007 My darling, to quote Missy Elliott - Girl I heard he eats one cracker a day
What am I watching? Alfie
One of the few good things about this movie was the soundtrack
Not as good as the original. Michael Caine, man, unf unf unf #myloveforolddudesgoesmisunderstood

"You know what you need? A good skull fucking." - HeMan, Robot Chicken.
@ladyofshalott06, since xobritney doesn't appear to be a fan, let's comment back and forth with our faves
@Pixolita girl, it's just so relevant to so many different situations in life and you know it ;)
@Pixolita having a good day? "you know what you need...'
@bobmaron http://twitpic.com/ksrrn - sausagefest!
@LadyofShalott06 I have replied to you on ONTD, you should respond in kind so we can piss people off.
@johncmayer does this mean an abortion was had?
@NZAfro Someone needs to make that account.
@MCSafetyScissor my lack of inclusion in this dissapoints me
@ecctv - Conan is on the repeat of Futurama that's on comedy central right now
and it's over
@ecctv awesome :)
@LadyofShalott06 it's no pressure really, do it if you want :)
@LadyofShalott06 I see what you did thar
@ladyofshalott06 @shenaniganjenn you should be glad when idiots stop following you because it frees up space for better people :)
I love new followers!
@ShenaniganJenn Did you know you'd make a great defense attorney?
Bed time, kiddos! Tomorrow, we run!
http://twitpic.com/kt3i9 - @johncmayer He has amazing ways with the police, even in his old age.
New strip. Late night. John provokes police activity. Can't we all get along? I don't think so either. had to redo http://twitpic.com/kt3i9
http://twitpic.com/kt3i9 - What 'Your Body is a Wonderland' is really about. @johncmayer, #johnmayer, #awesome
Watching that Dallas police chase on MSNBC. Fascinating. #notreally
I take it back - this is fascinating. #dallaspolicechase
@ladyofshalott06 is this asshole still trying to run with a flat tire? that's dedication...and stupidity. #dallaspolicechase
Omfg, you got back on the interstate just to get off again? #dallaspolicechase
@ladyofshalott06 i saw those people! #dallaspolicechase
@johncmayer You need to eat a cheeseburger
http://twitpic.com/jdvhp - New followers, if you're curious as to wtf this is, well, this is wtf this is...
RT @capitolvaults: Happy Birthday to John Lennon!
@LadyofShalott06 I think Oscar/Kevin, he needs a bear
Follow @Yokoono - Yes, that Yoko. She is an ageless beauty. Peaceful and giving. Learn from her example. #followfriday
Follow @ecctv - because it's nice to know someone else is as obsessed with the Sims as I am but still has time for life and shit #ff
Follow @Jason_Pollock because he's smart and has smart things to say. Wants you to think before you tweet #followfriday
Follow @catdsilver because she is smart. and she's been there since the start #followfriday
@ecctv yeah, i don't know what it is either
@VZWSupport am i supposed to have get it now on my LG ENV Touch?
Follow @johncmayer or don't. He's got like 2.5 million already and doesn't need you. Reason enough. #followfriday
Follow @LadyofShalott06 and @Shenaniganjenn because they're controversial bitches. #followfriday
Follow @jason_mraz because he asks the right questions. All the time. And they're heartfelt. <3 #followfriday
@rainnwilson He is, essentially, the Kanye West of the week. Bad form
@VZWSupport I'm tired of waiting for a twitter app for the LG Env Touch.
@VZWSupport I have no interest in downloading Girls get Mobile VIP or Sexy Women of the World. Thanks for wasting my time
@VZWSupport The #LG #Env #Touch is not the App Friendly Phone you advertised it to be #complaintthatwillmostlikelynotbeheard
Oh My God, babies are cute...when they're smiling and keeping it fucking quiet!
I just told that baby, awesomely named Rosso, to keep on fighting. He put his fist up in solidarity. He was probably poopin' but I dream...
@catdsilver LOOK - Do you want me to want you for your knockers or your brains? Make it clear.
@lbcute - until they mug/rape you while you search for a lighter in your purse...
@env_touch but it still doesn't have a twitter app. them liars.
@johncmayer - that's funny but I misread it as "bacon."
@danewhite007 that is a very excuseable crush.
I don't mind Sherri Shepard when she acts. It's when she's being herself that I want to change the channel.
While I'm happy TryJm is back, I wonder what sort of crazies will be joining us there - http://tryjm.com/
Meth heads on Degrassi. I love it.
This guy's name is Blue? WTF #Degrassi?
Where is Spinner? #Degrassi

Don't forget! - http://bit.ly/2Q7d8P
I, for one, think tonight's South Park was a fitting tribute to Michael Jackson. I don't think it went too far at all. #SouthPark
@DrewFromTV i'm onto you
@johncmayer - Just so you know, I'm going to put @johnmayerasasim in the HeartBreak Warfare video
I love that on MSM, people think they can order @johncmayer around. 'John we want you to do a film,' 'John we want you to smoke crack.' #NO
Time do read some bad fanfiction to make me feel better about my own status as an unpublished writer.
I have never wiki'd Barney...until tonight
Fuck, Barney is still on but they canceled Reno:911!? I want street justice!
goodnight all!
'You look terrible. Terrible! Show me your tongue. My God, but you're-'
@catdsilver i rapped. completely. it's that gangsta lovin'.
Given that I really am a Sim, I get everything I want, just like that George Michael song.RT @TheSims3: If you were a Sim,...
Dear god, internets, I have missed you.
For new followers, I now give you some links of interest.
Want to follow me on Livejournal? Well, now you can! http://johnmayerasasim.livejournal.com/
Are you about to abandon twitter for facebook? I'm over there too: http://bit.ly/4wz4lP
@johncmayer so you admit you are edible.
@catdsilver when did this happen? where the effe was i?
@johncmayer you seem incredibly high in this - I want some. http://bit.ly/200zFC
@johncmayer Oh, and by the way, thanks for letting us know at the end of this video that you have a penis. http://bit.ly/200zFC
"What if 'C-A-T' really spelled 'dog'?" - Ogre, Revenge of the Nerds II, Nerds in Paradise.
@ack_ that's awesome and they are very lucky to return.
@idlikethat where you going?
@NZAfro you, sir, are full of win
@catdsilver, wedding this weekend or this evening, if i'm not done crying over #jimandpam's wedding
@joelmchale I'm sold on you. This episode is boss.
@joelmchale - "This is the least tight thing that's ever happened to me!"
@ellebees I wish there was a like button for this.
@mayercrafter what do you have?
@mayercrafter well that's just faboo.
New ONTD post about @johncmayer. Flood it with me or I will. Thanks fans! <3 http://bit.ly/DFuiE
@ShenaniganJenn you should help me spam that post with my strips.
'It's been a real gift making sonic love to you tonight.'
#jimandpam #jimandpam #jimandpam #jimandpam #jimandpam #jimandpam #jimandpam #jimandpam #jimandpam #jimandpam #jimandpam #jimandpam
Michael Scott is such a dick #jimandpam
"I'm not Gay, I'm Kevin," #JimandPam
EVERYONE NEEDS TO SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP #JIMANDPAM
it's another kelly and andy dance off?
...or not. #jimandpam
No, Michael...just don't. Please don't. I know you're going to but just don't. #jimandpam
I haven't laughed and cried simultaneously like this in a while #theoffice
@BBBaumgartner - it was a really touching episode! kudos to the writers and crew!!!!! you specifically were adorable!
@KevinMarshall it's extremely possible.
What the hale, paypal, what tha hale?
Wanna help my broke ass purchase new sets/accessories? YOU CAN! You don't have to. I know how to strip, however poorly http://is.gd/45TnY
What do these cats want from me? They're fed.
@thomaslennon http://twitpic.com/ksmdy - You have my heart.
@ecctv I might vomit from that.

@danewhite007 girl i did not ask you why the floor was sticky (dane cook reference)
@johncmayer have fun blowing that load.
wtf is this heartbreak warfare bullshit being this lead single? thought it was 'who says?'
I hope you're spamming the new ONTD post about @johncmayer with photos of @johnmayerasasim.
sleep now. I feel weird. Dreams are going to be off the hook.
Up and out, darlings
So why haven't my recent updates gone to facebook? I'm very angry. #imangryandrepeatingmytweetwithinmyhashtag
I cannot get the twitter app to update this as well. Automatically. Suckage has begun.
@InfiniteLove09 no, you don't get it. I can't link it up with the fanpage I created
RT @KevinMarshall: R. Kelly concert at The Palace this Saturday cancelled; Capital Region unlocks its daughters.
@shenaniganjenn - what am i missing?
@ShenaniganJenn However, so long as there is a Team Angelina and a Team Jen, never will the two sides converge.
Testing this out.
...........#facebookproblems
it's suddenly very loud up in here and I really don't like it anymore
@ShenaniganJenn you know you're gonna pay for that. But not from me. I love your ass. <3
@catdsilver i see you baby, checkin' that ass. or is it moving that ass? i don't do well with that type of music. YES I DO!
I'll give you $17k worth of my foot up your ass, Allison #ANTM.
can someone tell me where the fighting happened on ONTD? hook a sim up? #shitthatdoesntmakesensethanks
I will travel back in time to the day this episode was taped and kick Allison off myself if Tyra doesn't do it #ANTM. YES ALLISON CONFUSING!
@ecctv I will gladly celebrate "Kill Ashley's Spirit" day. Everyday. #ANTM
@ecctv you know he's gonna talk smack about Rachel's blank stare/blinking. i want it now
@ecctv shit i mean nicole
I love how Tyra changes the way she talks when she introduces the panel, as if that'll make the people on it influential. It won't. #ANTM
@ellebees que?
my bloodlust is sated
i cannot move. if i do, i'll lose this signal. god help me if i have to pee.
@moustachette I never even got any
now lets detail this ferrari #cougartown #gh
OH god, gerald and sheila broflofski having sex? ew #southpark
I just want to give Ike a hug #southpark
but ike is just adorable, omg. @zenofsouthpark
giving it a rest tonight - gonna play the sims for a bit
updating via my phone to say everyone should watch south park tonight.
@ecctv i forgot about sims yoga!

@eliroth oh look, you're alive. Look at this - http://twitpic.com/jovt0
someone post this to the current ontd post about @eliroth. include the link. i want credit. and new followers! http://twitpic.com/jovt0
Why isn't 'Home Movies' on? Tim and Eric suck.
I'm very bored and very awake
@ladyofshalott06 I'm so glad someone else noticed.
@InfiniteLove09 very bubbly
@catdsilver be still. our marriage awaits.
@itsonalexa I knew there wsas a reason I followed you.
So thirsty. Working on it.
@elvisduran - myself, for obvious reasons. #johnmayer
Gonna be without real internet for the next few days. I'll be updating but no pictures.
RT @SallyBlock: @Johncmayer - stop twittering while you fuck.
Nice ass crack, chick sitting on a stoop that isn't yours while you smoke a cigarette and pretend to be a hipster.
I don't know why this girl who just walked past me shaved her head but it really works for her. It's lower than a buzzcut. Shit.
It's all in the face. Regardless of the sex, you really have to have the right bone structure for the full shave.
Dear @sonnydisco I don't know you but I read your 'Bio' section on twitter and I too would like to tug on your nuts while you sing showtunes
@sonnydisco Okay, I'm sold on you. Let's do this. Now following in 3, 2, 1...
OOH! I told her that she looked amazing with her hair shaved off! She said she did it because she could, I'm glad she doesn't have cancer!
@yokoono will you follow me back? I wanted to direct message you back and I can't! this sucks. this is not peaceful coexistence.
I fucking can't spell for shiat
@johncmayer Never forget, never surrender.
Brb - creating that facebook account.
I posted 12 photos on Facebook in the album "My family snapshots": http://bit.ly/2YnpXo
@idlikethat of course!
Hey, guess who's on facebook? http://bit.ly/4wz4lP
In about 20 minutes, I'm going to be high on benadryls. Expect some interesting tweets.
Oh and in case any of you were linkophobes, the answer is ME - http://bit.ly/4wz4lP
@catdsilver http://bit.ly/4wz4lP
Dear internet - the fuck is wrong with you?
Thank you, Dr. Appropriate!
@InfiniteLove09 wtf, lol. no. i had a small headache
Just so you all know, my updates will be repeating themselves on facebook because I've direct linked them.
@Jason_Pollock I've never even thought of using it for finding a job. Very interesting concept.
How different would your life be if you wrote a letter saying exactly what you needed to say to who you needed to say it to, and sent it?
@ontd_blueberry ha, this is my life
Offline for the rest of the evening. Pls send your queries to well, this. @cwm76
YOU WERE WATCHING BIG! RT @cwm76: Scattered pick churs...
offline.
@johncmayer http://twitpic.com/kk8hp - Cannot wait.

@johncmayer I could be an asshole and spoil it all for you. Instead I'll just link you to this: http://twitpic.com/k7nij
@VannyDel thank you, I'm very funny :)
@petewentz it's been a long awaited death.
Oh my dear I hate making noses on the sims
@ecctv here's an easy way - if you think they have one, they do
Should I go extra extra craycray and create a facebook for @johnmayerasasim? How many of you would add me?
oh it's neepers time. eff being awake.
I love my bed. It's nothing like what you see in the strips. It's better. Be jealous. @johncmayer, be jealous.
@johncmayer send me a sign that you're aware of this account. @EliRoth follows @bearjewfacts. #pitifulpleaforvalidation
on that note, i'm dragging my ass to bed. sleep well!
@elvisduran I'm drifting in and out of being awake. Don't recommend it.
@ben_mayer What sort of advanced yoga have you been doing?
My creator, in her caffeinated glory - http://twitpic.com/kepkw
@Krilymcc I see you are friends with @yearinla. I too am friends with @yearinla. We shall be friends too.
In case any of y'all were wondering, there is no method to who I follow. Could be randomly, deliberately or because you're sexy. Good luck!
there's an art and etiquette to finding parking the night before alternate parking days. Learn the rules before I teach you with my foot.
I lost 2 followers. What happened? Did you see the pic I uploaded and see that I was created by a woman? That's sexist! Good riddance to ya!
http://twitpic.com/kepkw - Hey @johncmayer, this is what you're up against. She's so hot, she's making me sexist.
@VannyDel Me or @sallyblock?
@ecctv i looked at the sims post you did and the bill hader bed spread makes me want to apologize for shagging his wife.