@caitinlv i'm coming in cause the sluts in my life have gone to work their corners.
People like me, it may take me 10 minutes to take a piss, but people like me.
@VannyDel Lemme take some viagra. I think I have some feeling left down there.
@VannyDel also, you turn me on because you make the same sounds I do when I wake up in the middle of the night to nudge my wife for sex.
@VannyDel Oh girl, lemme get my cane. I'll be over there in 3 days. I get lost a lot so it could be a while.
@catdsilver You just wait til you get home. These girls on the internets have been turning me on.
@catdsilver I think he's going to buy himself and run away. Good for him. FUcking biker punk thinking he's the Fonz.
@catdsilver You're just like my second wife. Or my first. Just be glad you don't sparkle or else I'd shove you out a window.
@catdsilver Look, I will already be home and waiting naked in bed for you. I cannot promise I will be awake. But the viagra is in me.
@catdsilver So there's hardly a need to speak so dirty to me. Half the work is done for you.
I have the ghost of Richard Marx in a vase in my living room. Bought it on Ebay for a half eaten watermelon. Gets me through the hard times
@caitinlv Why are you awake? Are you, like me, having prostate issues?
@SugarPlumKelly It's not a good morning. I'm tweeting from the bathroom and I have a million Old Man Brand Vitamins to take when I get out.
John Mayer Brand Old Man Vitamins, coming to a store near you!
@IsabelaLaurence What do you mean? Old men can and should always wear cologne! We're very smelly!
@SugarPlumKelly I'm going to make John Mayer Old Man Brand Vitamins very weak and generic so that women can take them too. Candy, basically.
@SugarPlumKelly Oh, and *hugs*
Tuesday night I'll be even more irritating as I'll be livetweeting/spoiling Lost for everybody on every coast everywhere. ENJOYYYYYYYYYYY!
Q:What if the iPad came with Bluetooth? an... A:Then everyone would look like massive to... http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim/q/97420321
@cwm76 Any preferred countries?
@bobmaron We all miss you. FYI.
My blood is riled up this evening. Shouldn't have eaten those redhots.
@johncmayer You know, it's not an expose if you open up the fridge and proceed to hear voices because of the stank that comes out of it.
I'm stuck in a zorap with some whores this evening. Wife should be happy. Come on down to zorap.com/sugarplumkelly Bring a Smile to get in.
People like me, it may take me 10 minutes to take a piss, but people like me.
@VannyDel Lemme take some viagra. I think I have some feeling left down there.
@VannyDel also, you turn me on because you make the same sounds I do when I wake up in the middle of the night to nudge my wife for sex.
@VannyDel Oh girl, lemme get my cane. I'll be over there in 3 days. I get lost a lot so it could be a while.
@catdsilver You just wait til you get home. These girls on the internets have been turning me on.
@catdsilver I think he's going to buy himself and run away. Good for him. FUcking biker punk thinking he's the Fonz.
@catdsilver You're just like my second wife. Or my first. Just be glad you don't sparkle or else I'd shove you out a window.
@catdsilver Look, I will already be home and waiting naked in bed for you. I cannot promise I will be awake. But the viagra is in me.
@catdsilver So there's hardly a need to speak so dirty to me. Half the work is done for you.
I have the ghost of Richard Marx in a vase in my living room. Bought it on Ebay for a half eaten watermelon. Gets me through the hard times
@caitinlv Why are you awake? Are you, like me, having prostate issues?
@SugarPlumKelly It's not a good morning. I'm tweeting from the bathroom and I have a million Old Man Brand Vitamins to take when I get out.
John Mayer Brand Old Man Vitamins, coming to a store near you!
@IsabelaLaurence What do you mean? Old men can and should always wear cologne! We're very smelly!
@SugarPlumKelly I'm going to make John Mayer Old Man Brand Vitamins very weak and generic so that women can take them too. Candy, basically.
@SugarPlumKelly Oh, and *hugs*
Tuesday night I'll be even more irritating as I'll be livetweeting/spoiling Lost for everybody on every coast everywhere. ENJOYYYYYYYYYYY!
Q:What if the iPad came with Bluetooth? an... A:Then everyone would look like massive to... http://formspring.me/JohnMayerAsASim/q/97420321
@cwm76 Any preferred countries?
@bobmaron We all miss you. FYI.
My blood is riled up this evening. Shouldn't have eaten those redhots.
@johncmayer You know, it's not an expose if you open up the fridge and proceed to hear voices because of the stank that comes out of it.
I'm stuck in a zorap with some whores this evening. Wife should be happy. Come on down to zorap.com/sugarplumkelly Bring a Smile to get in.
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