JM, As a Sim

Fine, don't follow me. You ungrateful little...
@InfiniteLove09 yay - tell your friends.
@BearJewFacts I want 700 followers. Goddammit
It's cause I'm Jewish, isn't it?
@JHysler I'm likely to pull off this one when I get knocked up http://bit.ly/U0aAb
@InfiniteLove09 wait, why do i have to wait an hour and 30 minutes?
@InfiniteLove09 oh! i wish i had a proper tub and more importantly, proper bubbles!
@InfiniteLove09 I can purchase some from the Trader Joes. I have enough Sim dollars.
I have to say, it's a lot better to watch/listen to Katt Williams when you can hear the profanity. Mothafuckahs.
@ecctv don't you hate it when you catch someone staring at you with the 'i just caught the stomach bug' face?
@ecctv he's on comedy central right now, uncensored. i dunno where you live, but if you're on the east coast like meeeeeeeee
@ecctv i would love you even if you were canadian. Hear that #Canadians? I love you.
@mayercrafter i like your name. I'll follow back.
Follow back, young'n (hoo'hooo!) Follow back, young'n (hoo'hooo!) Follow back, young'n (hoo'hooo!) Follow back, young'n (hoo'hooo!)
SSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEep. Been awake since 8:30 EST. Extra @SallyBlock Time. Trufax. @johnmayerasasim OUT!
neepers. sleepypants. yawn. goodnight.
This is my fave ep of Scrubs seasons past - the one with the Wasps, Barry Bostwick.
@uilos please have gotten a max.
@uilos or a mac. whatever. I'll be in the studio.
SPLIT PEA SOUP! The dinner of Sim Gangstas
RT @LeadToday: When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half. - Gracie Allen
@michaelianblack you could, but you would be a Ken Doll.
Why did they turn the A/C on in here? it's 55 degrees, ffs?
@johncmayer keep them coming - the comic for this one is going to be epic. I've had a lot of coffee, so it should arrive this evening.
Have you ever wanted to ask me? You can ask questions here: http://is.gd/3VfK9 (blogger) & http://is.gd/3VfIw (Livejournal) #boredasfuck
@BearJewFacts how did you get so many followers?
Learn it, live it, love it. RT @ben_mayer: Practice random acts of aggression. It's quite liberating.
How come the sims can't have nose piercings? I demand a recount. @TheSims3
Have you lost YOUR accountabilibuddy?
Die Hard is on. One of the Encore stations. Plans for the evenign now made.
Have you ever wanted to ask me something? go here: http://is.gd/3VfK9 (blogger) & http://is.gd/3VfIw (Livejournal) #boredasfuck
@ecctv i love that the food in your sims is sparkling
Really, SNL is going there? That's just great. #SNL
@ecctv ha, awesome. we're the same.
I love it, because Richard Dawson was the type who would just tell you you were fucking wrong. And they deserved to know.
My dad's not a cellphone! Duhhh
First person to send me this SNL digital sketch as an MP3 will get featured in a comic. #shitiwillprobablyneverfollowthroughonbutreallywant
I just yelled out - DEEP HOUSE DISH!

@bearheadedgirl I purchased two slices of pizza instead. it was good enough!
@danewhite007 I want to know how it leaked and if it's valid.
What do you mean you can't verify my disc is valid? Suck it.
LJ should be back up in 3 minutes. STFU
LJ IS BACK UP LJ IS BACK UP.
@omardoom it takes a real man to admit that
@danewhite007 guess who is following you?!
@shenaniganjenn i'm using you as a personal filter from now on.
"I gave you a lot more tips than I would've given somebody I didn't want to have sex with." - Coach McGuirk.
For my fellow Home Movie devotees - The best of John McGuirk http://bit.ly/1rGSc
I cannot sleep. In fact, I feel like I need to be held down. God dammit.
@shenaniganjenn what time zone are you in?
nights like this I wish I lived in California or somewhere warm, dammit.
@shenaniganjenn I have two aunts in Phoenix. You're right, you do.
okay, I'm sleepy now. And, somehow, curious about natural male enhancement...
@shenaniganjenn is the state seceding? or do you just want a live action @johnmayerasasim? cause all i do is snark at my macbook.
@jason_pollock that's incredibly useful!
@shenaniganjenn hahahaha that's awesome. cause in reality, I'm 5'5" , I have a boobs and am one of the least creepiest people (I hope).
@shenaniganjenn but just imagine him getting off the plane and into the airport, me controlling his every move with my macbook nearby.
Okay, seriously...sleep.
traffic traffic traffic
@jhysler Or since I run on cheats, @sallyblock can simply control+click the sleepy/irriated square currently running my life.
"done with broken people - this is me I'm working on." - @johncmayer
@cwm76 this reminds me of a South Park episode...
I really...really hate people. - http://twurl.nl/ns88yq
WHO WANTS MY PHONE NUMBER? #stupidideasforboredpeople
Guess what I'll be buying/creating a paypal donation button for? http://pc.ign.com/articles/101/1014660p1.html
@catdsilver I'll be there in five minutes. I mean days. Years.
Follow friday eh? Get ready.
Follow @moustachette - they're funny and they try hard #followfriday
Follow @catdsilver - she was there from the beginning of all of this and gets it
Follow @ShenaniganJenn Convinced she's my 3rd alter ego - 1st being @sallyblock, 2nd @johnmayerasasim and 3rd not yet discovered.
Follow @BearJewFacts because everyone loves them some blueberry days and nights #followfriday
Follow @Danny_DeVito - why? Because Shitballs, that's why! #followfriday
Follow @ecctv - because I said so. And because nobody else is as into the Sims as I am. And ONTD. #followfriday
Follow @Jason_Pollock - he's got his finger on the pulse and it feels good #followfriday
Hey @lidsylnraxkl - I've seen "Britney suck cock," and quite franky, I've seen better. Blocking you!
Hey @Steffrz are you a real person? if you want me to take you seriously, stop advertising teeth whitening. It makes me feel insecure...
Yes, you are: the age is 18. After that, it's inexcusable. Blocking you. RT: @Stefferz: You're never too old to learn something stupid. :)
Follow @TheSims3 because if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be here. Well, I'd be here, but I wouldn't have this account. #followfriday.
Follow @NZAfro - if only because speaks in the 3rd person occasionally. He's the only Adam I can tolerate from 2009. It's an accomplishment.
Follow @KevinMarshall - because he made me fucking cry last night. Bitch knows how to act. Omg. #followfriday.
@NZAfro - You're welcome (No sir, I'm a Madam - I'm really @SallyBlock) but for appearances sake, I'll go along with it
@ecctv - juggalo? que?
@NZAfro Oh I'm quite open about it :)

Where the eff are you @catdsilver. I'm bored
@ShenaniganJenn Bonus points if it's KY Yours and Mine
@ecctv so wait, where are the actual updates about Polanski?
If you live in Albany go see @confettistage's 2nd weekend performance of the Short Play festival! $15 for 4 plays running Oct 1-3 at 8pm!
Going to bed after a quick snack. Blood sugar running low.
@ecctv So let me guess, it's just a bunch of "NO IT WAS RAPE RAPE" "no it wasn't rape, it was rape rape rape"? Ugh.
@ecctv I can't wait til my account is approved so I can say something with reason there. I'd mainly post on the Mayer posts. I'm patient.
@ecctv Fuck. I wonder if the TV guide channel has stopped running specials about him yet.
@ecctv The answer is yes: they're back to airing 10 year old episodes of Punk'd and 4 year old episodes of American Idol.
I'm fully endorsing Yoplait's Blackberry Pomegranate yogurt. None of that sugar free stuff. Erythritol makes me break out in hives. Gnite!
@nzafro nobody ever expects it. but it's nice.
My bed is the coziest place ever.
@nzafro Adam should thank me for my input. He is welcome! He is replied to from bed.
For realsies, goodnight.
@johncmayer quiet down. Your alter sim ego is trying to sleep!
@johncmayer now I'm convinced you know about me and are feeding me lines for my strip. It's on. Back to sleep.
@Lbcute what?
@elvisduran I've gotta feeling I'm awake for no reason and listening in.
@catdsilver the only part that didn't make sense was the fiance part
@ecctv oh look, there's the flood of Polanski. That sounds like a movie title "The Flood of Polanski."
God damn do I hate message boards sometimes.
@JHysler Perhaps but I don't have an account there :)
@JHysler BUT I CAN LURK!
Do I want to make a new strip this morning? I have nothing else to do. I think so. Yes. Or else I'll fall back asleep.
New strip in under an hour - @johncmayer, you're on notice
RT @nbcstore: #TheOffice giveaway: Mug autographed by John K & Jenna F! #JimPamMug http://tinyurl.com/y8nq4gz - RT this an you're entered!
That's what you get for Partying in the USA. RT @mtvnews: Miley Cyrus Stricken With Strep During Wonder World Tour http://bit.ly/3HtHvg
http://twitpic.com/ju7uy - @johncmayer Oh look, a new strip! original tweet: http://twitter.com/johncmayer/status/3183085645
Sorry that Eli Roth is not featured in this one - http://twitpic.com/ju7uy I hope you still find it funny and will re-tweet it.
This is the first strip I've done during the day. I'm taking a nap. Y'all better send it off to friends and get me more followers.
@catdsilver I would marry you. We would live in my amazing manse. If you don't mind my 8 grandkids and 2 exwives who have married my sons.
@catdsilver - I joke, it's just ONE exwife who did that.
GO GO GO GO http://twitpic.com/ju7uy http://twitpic.com/ju7uy http://twitpic.com/ju7uy http://twitpic.com/ju7uy http://twitpic.com/ju7uy
If anyone wants to get me something for Hanukkah, I'll take anything from here - http://bit.ly/Yz7gV
@catdsilver http://twitpic.com/jug9l - i applaud you
WTF is this, James Franco, WTF? I'm excited to be unemployed to watch you. http://bit.ly/ci0ps
@MayerBabe09 No, Susi's taking a break cause she's tired of getting hatorade spilled on her. I can't blame her
I hope when James Franco comes to General Hospital, he gets everyone stoned. It would make everything better http://twurl.nl/ei5y32
@omardoom for you & eli, tell him to get back onto twitter. I want to know if he's seen this. http://twitpic.com/jovt0 #blueberries, #ontd
Shit - wouldn't it be great if I could spell today? Yeah, I thought so too.
@omardoom http://twitpic.com/jumao - I'd eat it.
@wenyeelo http://twitpic.com/junew - I wish I had that view. Everything is dying here in NY. *sigh*
http://twitpic.com/jdvhp - New followers - In case you stumbled upon this twitter and wondered, 'WTF IS THIS?'
@Greggor3z NO YOU CHECK OUT "MY CRAZY PICS"
@JHysler You keep on trucking.
http://twitpic.com/h5rhr - @catdsilver - you mean here? I can arrange that.
@ecctv I need to add you as a friend under my SN Svexsal. You are not a nutjob. I respect that.
@johncmayer QUIT TWEETING WHILE DRIVING DAMMIT!!
TREEHOUSE OF HORROR! YEAH!
@ShenaniganJenn You're welcome. I look forward to the hate you're going to receive from a certain stan.
@ecctv I don't have MJ in my Sims. I just have @johncmayer and @Eliroth (this one time) - http://twitpic.com/jovt0
@johncmayer - What a thoughtful Earth Day present that was.
@ecctv Surprisingly, you are the second person to say this to me @shenaniganjenn
@ecctv I neither want to do him nor do I have a fascination with him nor is there a movie of his that I like or an album of his that I own.
Dear @RonVMyers though I doubt that's really you in those pics, your avatar and name are attractive and so, I'm following you.
Oh dear, I need dinner.
Okay, getting ready and getting out now. Today's strip is here. I made it earlier today while you were at work http://twitpic.com/ju7uy
http://twitpic.com/ju7uy - Oh god dammit, there's a grammar error in the second frame. I'm not reloading it. Deal. LOVE YOU!
I hope the cancellation of the Kanye/Gaga tour means he'll get himself some rehab. As my old pal Regis would say, he is OUT OF CONTROL!
@ecctv btw, I'm glad we're LJ friends now. It's a pleasure to know someone as obsessed with the Sims as I am. Omg, I can't even...
@ecctv was its name eli roth?
Everyone go see the @confettistage Short Play festival running until Saturday night. So good it made me cry. ME. CRY!
How does anyone know what the tracklisting is for Battle Studies. Did I miss something?
@ecctv I was in the middle of updating. God dammit.
"hey why haven't we ever..." we have...
I clapped when she said "Mrs. Pam Halpert." Srsly.
it shocks me now how many livejournal sites i go to per day/hour
god damn. i need some chocolate.

http://twitpic.com/jovt0 - @johncmayer, @eliroth, I have a feeling I'll regret this one. New Strip.
@ShenaniganJenn http://twitpic.com/jovt0
fuck i'm going to bed. Good night and enjoy the new strip http://twitpic.com/jovt0. Share it with everyone you know.
@SugarPlumKelly goodnight! goodnight to all in the twitterverse!
http://twitpic.com/jovt0 - In case anyone missed last night's strip. Share it with friends. @eliroth, @johncmayer, #ontd, @thebearjew, # ...
Oh lookie me being pimpalicious this morning.
http://twitpic.com/jovt0 - In case anyone missed last night's strip. Share it with friends. @eliroth, @johncmayer, #ontd, @thebearjew, # ...
Who is working out today? I am working out. I'll be standing behind you impatiently on the treadmill. Just kidding. I mean the arc trainer.
http://twitpic.com/jovt0 - 270 views? Where is this being shared? Speak up, lurkers! Start following me. Don't be ashamed. I'm lovely.
@catdsilver that's horrible. I hope you're alright. Lemme know if you need anything.
@mickmgmt here's a load of jealousy from NY.
@catdsilver I shall send you $8 million sim dollars.
@ontd_blueberry Oh, you are delightful.
@TryJM what's up with your site?
@johncmayer Have people been telling you 'And I Thank God That I, That I Finally Found You." These are Kc & Jo-Jo lyrics, Jodeci minus 'DE.'
@johncmayer Is freek'n you all you see? Then you might be meeting Jodeci.
@TryJM Okay, I'll try it without a question mark. Whats up with your site.
@TryJM Why is it open to invited readers only.
If TBS was giving me what I wanted, they would be canceling anything with the words "Tyler Perry Presents" in the title. Thank you.
Best secret from LJsecret I've ever seen : http://i25.tinypic.com/2vtuzdi.jpg
So i was just informed that my latest strip was posted to @ONTD_Blueberry. Pls give credit and lemme join. I lurve ya.
This is my most viewed strip. COMMENT ON IT, BLUEBERRIES. I don't bite. I hate being so fucking vain. Jaysus - http://twitpic.com/jovt0
@ShenaniganJenn oh my darling, my sim boobs are his any day of the week @eliroth
@catdsilver How the eff can I be honorary when my shi- is getting posted there? blueberry fail. Let's make it a blueberry win!
@ShenaniganJenn Look at her name, how could you expect her to?
RT: catdsilver @JohnMayerAsASim honorary blueberry. #ontd #blueberries
But that's how I make my horsey go!
I...I will never stop loving Al Bundy/Ed O'Neill. I will never, ever, apologize for that.
I'm gonna have some potatoes. God dammit they will be yummy or I'll kill you all. You've been warned.
@PamsLove When I'm hungry, my rage knows no bounds
You all are spared. The potatoes are great.
@SugarPlumKelly yay!
@cwm76 Have you recently had a baby? Most recently pregnant women lose their hair. Trufax.
Follow me on Livejournal - http://JohnMayerAsASim.Livejournal.com It's just me posting all of these over there. When I feel like it.
@ShenaniganJenn Or a microwave. So yes, SATAN.
@ShenaniganJenn You are such a speshul flowr
Any questions?
I feel like chatting

http://twitpic.com/jgi4l - It's epic. It's an origin story. Original @johncmayer tweet: http://twitter.com/johncmayer/status/1602091353
http://twitpic.com/jgi4l - @johncmayer In case you were wondering, I fall more in love with myself every day.
This latest strip was like great sex. I'm spent and could use a cigarette.
And in case anyone was curious, I curse like a gangsta - http://cursebird.com/JohnMayerAsASim
@cwm76 Thanks. Nightmares for a week. Will also attempt that haircut if I'm feeling lucky. *vomits*
@cwm76 @ben_mayer Show this to your brother http://twitpic.com/jgi4l
@shenaniganjenn This Jew appreciates that appreciation.
@shenaniganjenn it took me like an hour to make this one. jaysusaurus rex. I'm going to bed.
http://twitpic.com/jgi4l - In case any of you missed it...John Mayer as a Sim has some stuff to atone for this Yom Kippur as well.
@Starbucks I had a flight from Albany to LAX in May and brought the samples you'd mailed out at the time. Perfect for it!
RT @koreantomcruise: please RT! red cross emergency appeal for flood victims in the phillipines: http://tinyurl.com/ycbkxaa
This is fascinating - RT @aplusk: Time Lapse Typhoon "Nangka" Over Hong Kong http://bit.ly/dI6Rt
That Nelson Muntz short film in "Any Given Sundance" nearly made me cry. Holy shit.
@elvisduran Since you've probably already heard it, is it lovely? I'll bet it is.
INTERVENTION MONDAY.
@idlikethat I'm very upset to not be included in that mess of RT's.
@ShenaniganJenn Oh hale naw.
God damn, Charles Grodin got old.
I could give a shit if there's a Pre-sales event for @johncmayer's upcoming tour. Honestly, does it matter where you sit? Listen with ears.
So obviously this means I have not signed the petition for @johncmayer's tour.
@alloveralbany GBV?
From now on, I'm going to watch only 58 mins of Intervention and then change it before the white on black screen tells me they've relapsed.
Does Julia Stiles still walk around with her mouth gaping open and call it acting?
@JHysler What do you tinychat about?
A+ RT @cotlife: We are bummed that we aren't playing so we are cranking "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler and screaming it. Soooo good
@JHysler it's all JM related, isn't it? what time you doing this? I'll probably be thinking up a new strip. link up!
TURTLES, TURTLES, TURTLES!!! RT @thefinebros: Adventures in Disneyland ! Check out our latest mission http://bit.ly/WSp3 #fiestamovement
@THEFINEBROS - Do you have a hard on for those teacups or something?
@VannyDel why hello. I hope you enjoy my strips and share them with fellow @johncmayer fans! :)
@VannyDel And now you can picture him as a 75 year old 3D character, stuck in a house with 2 sons and countless grandkids.
@VZWSupport any word yet on a twitter app for the LG Env Touch? I'm lazy and impatient and addicted. Thank you for your time.
Fuck yeah! http://twurl.nl/jdmxrx #stuffIcareaboutwhichyoudont
There is food somewhere. It is waiting for me.
Why do people think Jeff Dunham is funny? He's not. I don't understand. You can see his lips moving. Eff him.
I'd like to set him on a fire started with his shitty puppets #badideasIdlovetopursue
@VannyDel I'm a fan of setting him on fire.
@johncmayer You should make this your next album title, or at least your B-Sides title.

Oh god, my ex has tried the Jabberwocky on me.
I hate you, Kristin Wiig, just kidding, no just kidding I do. I want to set fire to your face, you over used hackey sack.
I need a .gif of Bill Hader from this sketch on SNL - Live Lounge.
@ShenaniganJenn The answer is to all of your questions is that like all us Jews, he's highly fuckable.
They just dropped the eff bomb on SNL.
@eliroth i am so turned on by this, you have no idea.
Trufax: Snuggies were invented by cult leaders who intend on taking over the world.
@eliroth I'd say f*(k myspace, but apparently, you already have.
@eliroth you know blueberries can leave a stain right? be careful.
http://twitpic.com/g6g7u - A classic strip. @johncmayer, as a sim doesn't like kids, he likes making them and making music. A new one ...
@WhitneyCummings And you can practice along the way. Awesome.
http://twitpic.com/jdvhp - For my new followers, in case you wonder what this is all about. @johncmayer. Original tweet: http://twitter. ...
I could watch the last half hour of Shawshank forever and ever.
@BearJewFacts Was unaware you lived so far away. How did you come to live there?
@BearJewFacts I wish you lived closer. We can hang and have an awesome time with our imaginary selves. I would settle for your following me.
@BearJewFacts that, i can do.
@JHysler I forgot about that song. Is there a copy somewhere? Didn't he only put out a snippet?
@JHysler and now my love is directed at you.
@mitchfatel Move in with me. You are adorable and sexy and funny.
Awesomely so. RT @cwm76: Casey Wilson 1 - - SNL 0
So @EliRoth left a msg for all fans here & I think it's why I find @johncmayer so attractive. He breaks the 4th wall http://twurl.nl/7c5qex
@questlove As a white person, I'm very sad. @WSJ: Gap Founder Don Fisher Dies at 81 http://bit.ly/grt0v
@ShenaniganJenn did they share tits? eventually, he has to share his dick. dick or gtfo. No apologies.
nutterbutters and oreos gone? damn
@eliroth so when are you going to show us YOUR junk? Please and thank you.
God damn, do I love the Bee Gees
This is like Sliders. Except funny.
Some of you will not like my next strip. Most of you, will jizz in your pants.
Oh wow, Don Draper got his ass kicked.

http://twitpic.com/j11jk - @johncmayer Oh look a new post.
Original @johncmayer tweet: http://twitter.com/johncmayer/status/2399919678
Oh look! It's a young @johncmayer post! I never do this! http://twitpic.com/j11jk
@thomaslennon I love you
@catdsilver well always. And of course I'd make you a hoodie...or link you to the cafepress shop.
http://twitpic.com/j11jk - @ben_mayer, @cwm76 my work here is done. Good night.
@catdsilver it's on.
@johncmayer thank you. the single sounds great!

Watching douchebags get served. I mean, Bully Beatdown is on.
@catdsilver I've changed my photo in your honor. You're welcome and good evening.
RT @TryJM: Win signed JM Guitar, CD and Meet & Greet at NYC Show http://bit.ly/XphrO
Goodnight kids.
Oh. Awake.
@elvisduran i'd give him a condom but only if it were one of those trick condoms that turned his junk blue.
@johncmayer Dun dun dun dun dadada dun daaaaaaaa!
@johncmayer that's also the first sign of an aneurism. SEEK HELP!
@NedraBarrlre Thank you but as I'm imaginary, I don't require weight loss!
@peeweeherman HE'S HERE, EVERYBODY!
@johncmayer how can you follow Pee-Wee but not me? Oh dear.
@ShenaniganJenn hooray? ithink...
Hand me my suicide ax...
@idlikethat ha, no. it was a line from the Simpsons episode I'm watching :)
@idlikethat I'm not going anywhere. I like myself.
RT: I'm back! Follow Pee-wee! Someone who RT's this gets a phone call from me tonight! #peewee@peeweeherman
@catdsilver http://twitpic.com/izsra - I enjoy this.
I feel like reading some wank, like it would take the edge off this shit day.
RT @Danny_DeVito: 10 PM FX NEW "IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA" THURS. 10 PM FX TONIGHT!!!! HOLLY FIRE BALLS.
Oh wow - http://roflmaosmoc.com/
@Johncmayer I really don't know why you haven't just gotten your phone implanted to your hand. But I guess you're waiting til retirement.
I win at Jeopardy!
Oh shiit it's FlashForward time.
@johncmayer It's nice to know talent has nothing to do with it.
@johncmayer did he seduce you with his tobacco scented copies of 'Love in the Time of Cholera?'
I love you Bill Hader.
I think anyone would make great strides opening with 'Hi, I'm not George Bush.' Watch, I'll try it...
'HI, I'm not George Bush. I'm John Mayer, As a Sim.'
And if I'm being honest, I'm not really John Mayer as a Sim - I'm @sallyblock. I'm awesome. Bow the eff down.
@Uilos you go online, you go on aim now!
I was born ready. I'm Ron f*king Swanson.
Ha, the number one trending topic on twitter is spelled wrong. Losers. #it'sspelledyou'relame
Yay someone fixed that #yourelame
George Lopez, I love you because you remind me of my first love's father. Yummy.
YAY: @georgelopez's comedy special is on. If you missed it, you can see it recycled and at 90% reduced quality when Carlos Mencia follows.
@ShenaniganJenn i'm not sure if that was a compliment but I'm blushing internally and out because of you :)
@ShenaniganJenn I need/want to update tonight but I've been emotionally drained this week.
Really? I don't own a John Mayer piece of clothing? Perhaps for the upcoming undated winter tour I'll create a JohnMayerAsaSim Hoodie
@ShenaniganJenn I'm used to it. I piss off my friends more than you know.
Eff Jay Leno, it's always sunny in philadelphia
@scottycrowe that works until you cut off the circulation in your legs or your friends kill you for looking like hipster douche
@ShenaniganJenn teeheeheehehehehehehe I have an inner fan girl but I'm not an asshole about it. The strips speak for themselves.
@catdsilver Well yeah! Bitches gotta be represented all up and DOWN the East Coast!
Why is Seven such a happy word for that little Asian girl on the Windows commercial? Has she seen the movie? Someone should educate her.
This is not new. RT @huffingtonpost: Thousands Have Illnesses Related To 9/11 Attacks http://bit.ly/15YNjz
Letterman is featuring the New Zealand Prime Minister. I was expecting the guy from that episode of Flight of the Conchords. Disappointment.

Thanks for sharing. Am now blind. Need brain bleach. RT @KevinMarshall: WHAT?! http://tinyurl.com/lfk56s
Why is Yoplait running their save/lick the lid campaign during a swine flu outbreak?
@rafaeldekort9 uhm, thanks. I'm working though.
Goodnight children. It's been a long day.
Btw - I gave one of you my phone number for good behavior. Learn from @catdsilver's example.
@elvisduran you sure about that?
@elvisduran Because that's not the typical response to this twitter account. The typical response is 'Wtf are you?'
@koreantomcruise Good thing I didn't waste my day off spending my hard earned unemployment dollars on pussy. Thank you.
@idlikethat I need to watch it again. I've had it since my birthday (January) but have only seen it once. Sounds wonderful on vinyl!
@idlikethat why did they cut out the cursing on it? Am I remembering it correctly? They let Mayer curse on 'Any Given Thursday.'
@idlikethat hehe, they bleep out the expletives that JM uses. On 'Any Given Thursday,' he sings 'Leave this shit behind' on 'Why Georgia.'
@idlikethat It's a shame. I love it when he does it. It makes him more human.
@idlikethat and then 14,000 teenage girls scream because he used a 'bad word.' Gets me every time.
@idlikethat but in the end he will. And it'll be awesome.
@elvisduran check out http://jmsim.blogspot.com or http://twitpic.com/hwlc4 if you're confused. But you're sharp. Should get it.
@WhitneyCummings It really works both ways.
Trying to download 'Only By the Night.' Taking forever to get past the last .9 mb. Suuuuuuuck.
Maybe if I'd downloaded it a year ago when it was cool, I wouldn't be having this issue. Look at me being behind the times.
Oh god, Mackenzie Phillips is talking about IT on Oprah. I'm gonna call it "IT" from now on.
@landitagomez Mackenizie Phillips is the daughter of Rock Legend John Phillips of the Mama's and the Papa's (California Dreaming).
@landitagomez Nothing to laugh about. Mackenzie Phillips is coming forward with her story of consensual incest between her and her father.
@johncmayer oh...you
I like that Mackenzie said 'Interesting that [my family members] aren't worried that it might defame me' with regards to the story.
I'm glad she said it. Victim blaming is one of the worst side effects of child abuse, often more psychologically harmful than the abuse.
@johncmayer This one's for you http://bit.ly/4ikoXq
@idlikethat ha I have no idea. I youtubed it.
@idlikethat I wish I'd gone on that cruise.
@scottycrowe what do these numbers mean? this is like watching lost.
@idlikethat I hope he comes to Brazil. I've seen him about 6 times and I forget that some haven't seem JM at all.
it honestly sounds like the douchebag across the street is singing 'fucking fuck you away.' I don't understand.
Ladies and Gents: What are some of the douchiest songs you know? Please tweet them to me so I can play them on my stoop. Musical terrorism.
@johncmayer I took the day off because I didn't have enough to make it through the day. Thank you. Please write 'Why Syracuse' as a sequel.
@ShenaniganJenn why thank you! please see http://jmsim.blogspot.com/ for my past or http://twitpic.com/hwlc4 for an explanation.
@ShenaniganJenn And by the way, thanks for the add!
@catdsilver What's your octave? I'm a contra-alto and shall one day sound like Bea Arthur.
I love how attractive I continue to make myself to the twitterverse. You're all welcome.
@elvisduran BTW I'm also a big fan of 'Dreaming with a broken heart...' http://twitpic.com/gox7v
Incredible photos of the Australian drought and dust storm - http://bit.ly/MuDYp
"Slow Dancing in a Swimming Pool" RT @jordanrubin: Your body is a legoland #1stDraftSongLyrics
It's official - my creator needs to marry the husband from ABC's Modern Family...or a reasonable facsimile. You guys, make it happen.
@ShenaniganJenn welp, that's a good enough reason to follow me as ever :)
Oh wow, the new ABC wednesday night comedy lineup does not suck...yet.
I love Christa Miller
Is ABC the hottie channel or something? The men they're featuring...omg.
@elvisduran But on a serious note, please tell me how much you love me.
Ladies & gents: Go see @KevinMarshall's work & later perform during the @confettistage Short Play Festival in Albany, NY. Starts tomorrow!
@BrandonBarash I LOVE your new background! I don't care when it was added. Also, am friends with Lisa Lo's cousin. You're both great on GH!
@brandonBarash please forgive the massive name dropping. I suck like that sometimes.