JM, As a Sim

@Jim_Wolf Way to go. I won't mention that you ate twice as much as I did and in half the time. Oh shi---
@Jim_Wolf had it been a big mac, i would have finished sooner. Next time...
http://twitpic.com/q2wg8 - Myself (@sallyblock) and @bobmaron, courtesy of @bearheadedgirl #mayeronfuse!
@mayercrafter thank you. I'm starting to believe that @bobmaron's ascot needs its own twitter account
sleeping a well deserved sleep.
Gap Body from 2-6. Come visit. I forgot to switch back my twitter accounts. So imagine an elderly Johnmayerasasim folding panties & bras.
thats NYC. unfortunately no
*S*
Switching back the twitter accounts from my phone. You have all been saved.
@danewhite007 what channel?

Right now, I don't feel anything. It's so weird. I will not feel it until tomorrow.
details: was sitting on the floor beneath the balcony
big thanks to @bobmaron and @johncmayer for making this evening what it was. Also to @bearheadedgirl @Cheekiemunkey @ExoticMoonFlwer
@MeganRabren it was super awesome to meet you!
Safe travels to everyone heading back home from the NYC @johncmayer concert.
http://twitpic.com/q02np -
http://twitpic.com/q02nq -
http://twitpic.com/q066d -
@cwm76 you should've stood outside of the Beacon and sung previews of the songs in place of itunes previews.
On the metro and going back home. Resuming usual Twitterverse jackassery in 5 hours. Haters please remain to the left.
@vanntydel I feel the same! sorry it was so short! I was going to get my hair all crazy for you.
@cwm even if you were using a vertical tanning unit?
@cwm76 even if you were using a vertical tanning unit?
http://twitpic.com/q1czi -
http://twitpic.com/q1zsi -
http://twitpic.com/q1czi - Because honestly, no glove = no love. Your pets are concerned.
http://www.zorap.com/sallyb
everybody bring their nightwires
@sugarplumkelly @MCSafetyScissor zorap - come on!
@k8thompson zorap/sallyb bring the nightwires mah dea
http://twitpic.com/q2dhz - From 30 Rockefeller Plaza.

http://twitpic.com/pu553 -
http://twitpic.com/pu5kp -
Going to 88th and 2nd.
Drunk in Manhattan 88th and 2nd.
Oh manhattan.
At a dive in Manhatten with a dude who looks like Seth Rogen.
@Uilos was a good evening. will see you soon.
my total win for the evening? banging my arm into the paper towel holder in the bathroom, causing it to crash and spill out everywhere.
Oh Shit, Journey is playing. All bets are off.
@uilos if i ever say 'give it away now,' it's about my drink. it means I've had too much . I'll say RHCP ME.
if i ever say 'give it away now,' it's about my drink. it means I've had too much . I'll say RHCP ME.
Stopping at a white castle at 4am is always a holy event. I imagine @bobmaron would be proud of my meal.
I'm going to kill at least one of the people I'm with right now. Omfg. I can't even.
@BobMaron You would be happy. From what I can remember, I ate about 9 cheeseburgers around 5 am.
@johncmayer thank you for being awesome enough that I created this.
@johncmayer You have not made me smile at work, because I am not working today. But if I was, the Gap is not playing 'Battle Studies' yet.
What time did anyone want to do anything? Please advise.
@Pixolita WTF YOU MET DANNY DEVITO?
So there are just now released tickets available for the Beacon. And it happens when I only have $25 to my name because of Bank of America.
@SeraphimAngels that'd be awesome.
@SeraphimAngels Pantie shooting? what??
@SeraphimAngels I'm not doing anything with my panties.
@ellebees that was last night
@onlybymoonlight awwww
And for those who may not know, my real name is Sally.
Leaving @hsutha's apt in 5.
On the 7, very close.
@meeshell78 possibly, thank you for your help!
http://twitpic.com/pxbze -
@bobmaron you have made my night.
So it's not front row...
*S*
Steven tyler is in the audience. I can see his head.
Steven tyler is jamming out to 'No Such Thing.' It's kind of adorable.
None of this will hit me until tomorrow.
In person, @bobmaron is so much more awesome than expected.

@bobblablaw if you're wondering why I'm following you now, it's because someone shared with me your Assassins photoshop. Heartfully yours.
http://twitpic.com/pqa3d - Elderly @johncmayer has broken loose in NYC.
@bobmaron are you in NYC yet?
zorap chat tonight. DM for deets!
@mayercrafter ahhh ok will do!
@cwm76 Lavender is good but the aftertaste is horrible.
@Johncmayer not likely as their heightened sense of smell would waken and alert them to a change in the atmosphere. Thus avoiding disaster.
http://twitpic.com/pqa3d - He wanted to see Rent but was too late.
@Jim_Wolf I will go easy. I promise.
@bearheadedgirl i wish i was there
Still in upstate.
HEY you, chick in the Hannaford commercial! Get back in the In Living Color repeats where you belong. Ugh. Why do I have to school people?
Leaving Walden in an hour and a half
On the metro
Haven't even gotten into the city and already someone reeks of piss. Oh my.
One hour away from Grand Central. Jay-Z on the Ipod cause I'm a cliche. Hit me up if you want to chill with me and my girl @hsutha tonight.
Thank you, @S_C_ for letting me know that we are apparently off that. Take that to mean what you will.
@cwm76 ask @thefinebros, egg nog is really chicken jizz. They have video documentation to support.
http://twitpic.com/ptrem -
Dear Remy Martin ad on the 7, are things really getting interesting? Really? Signed, Mgmt.

I already know some of you are, but how many of you are going to NYC for this week's @johncmayer shows?
Warning to everyone who gets my tweets sent to their phones - Monday thru Wednesday I'll be tweeting via text so it might go into overload.
Re last text: This is because I'll be in New York City for those days. You could stalk me, but I probably don't look like my twitter photo.
Why hello there, @jim_wolf. I look forward to hitting on you in NYC this week.
Anyone going to be in the city that needs my number, please ask now.
@meeshell78 windmill? what?
@VannyDel what the eff does windmill mean?
@VannyDel never did hear about it. good to know!
God dammit, I can't get my device synced back up to twitter.
Fixed it. All set to go. NYC tomorrow night.

goodnight kiddoes.
Oh @catdsilver, I miss you too.
@catdsilver I'm going to age him when @mcsafetyscissor and Kyla's baby is born. Oh crap, I just admitted I knew about that.
@catdsilver But shit if that little kid doesn't look like an extra from Children of the Corn.
@catdsilver I don't know. We're not given a choice in the game.

Goodnight everybody! Especially you!
http://twitpic.com/p2hu6 - Enjoy the new gPod. It'll be worth the weight. Gnight.
http://twitpic.com/p2udr - Rubber Duxkie, you're the one!
@meeshell78 i'm not sure if rowe or richgates are still in there. dm them. i'm sleepy :D
http://twitpic.com/pfk9l - For @richgates and @vannydel, my hair this evening after taking out the 18 bobby pins keeping it up.
@johncmayer Find the nearest independent paging system and start paging yourself to a gate on the opposite side of the airport. Don't show.

@senor_mc that'd make them doubly semelly.
@senor_mc it's a Freudian slip that I mispelled that.
I fell asleep ON Bubbie. ON BUBBIE.
@danewhite007 you're welcome.
@meeshell78 I hope all is okay soon!
@ben_mayer Ahh the Fugitive...
Sleeptime!
RT @twtfm: Want to win a free trip for 2 to the 2010 Sundance Film Festival? Check this out http://bit.ly/45wxRt and Please ReTweet! #ad
So well done RT @TheSims3: But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts.She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers... http://bit.ly/3yKGYc
Downloading a new bathroom set. Thanks to all who have donated. If you'd like to donate to @johnmayerasasim, please visit http://is.gd/4KOxX
When I take an elderly @johnmayerasasim to France, he shall make the finest wines.http://is.gd/4TK2z
@ben_mayer Isn't that the classic conundrum of ballfish?
@bobmaron http://twitpic.com/pakpz - Those probably won't help the truce as they are fancy Nestle and not the Hershey Brand. I mean, duh, Bo
Is there a zorap tonight?

There's got to be a tweet about bathtime
zorap tonight?
@richgates it sounds like zoraping
zor-RAPING
Working on another strip (yes again) and then I'll be in the zorap
http://twitpic.com/p2udr - Rubber Duckie makes everyone's day better!
@ShenaniganJenn I would invite you but I feel like you'd set fire to every girl in the room.
@richgates HOW DID YOU KNOW?
@ShenaniganJenn I STILL LOVE YOU.
@senor_mc http://twitpic.com/p2vcx - I love that the half-naked chick is on the smaller screen. You stay classay :)
Dear Verizon Wireless, STFU and give me a twitter app for my ENV Touch. Not a shortcut, an App.
@ShenaniganJenn you will know pity from me when it's served
First "Texts from Last Night," and now "Shit My Dad Says." John Mayer should contact me. We can make an animated tv show. 1 shitty season.
@danewhite007 online chatting/vidchatting
@bobmaron The only people who should complain about your pictures are Anorexics and Bulimics. But even then you're helping them.
http://twitpic.com/p2udr - Bathtime fun with @johncmayer
http://twitpic.com/p2hu6 - "Oooh baby baby! Oh baby baby. Ah, push it." ~ @johncmayer, the new cover.
So since I can't eat Yoplait Light, I can be mad at the bear sheriff.
Should I know who Justin Beiber is?
Nuff said. RT @ellebees: A pedophile's wet dream.
@ellebees DNW
Why is it that past ANTM winner Danielle was told to get enunciation lessons but this current cycle's Laura sounds even worse than she did?
What an adorable youtube video featuring @johncmayer - http://bit.ly/40SL8L

http://twitpic.com/oz0wx - New Strip - Elderly @johncmayer returns to the Mayercraft and is disappointed.
RT @senor_mc: Everyone should want and have someone to come home to.
http://twitpic.com/oz0wx - Just a replay of last night. Imagine if you lived on the Mayercrafter.
@STINGYBee Thank you! And good morning.
Brb, downloading new sims hair
Next up, I'm getting my own animated show @bearheadedgirl. Bill Hader will do the voice.
I'm really glad that the Sims 3 allows you to alt+tab between windows.
@linzeeanne oh, this. I agree so har.
Laundry done. Now, I sim
Oh yeah, and last night's strip - featuring the Mayercraft. http://twitpic.com/oz0wx
@bearheadedgirl did she send you to row quadruple z?
@bearheadedgirl That's rude of her.
@bearheadedgirl it's called jeliz
If you'd like to donate to @johnmayerasasim, you can do so by visiting this page! Pass the plate! http://bit.ly/1n5ZvZ
@MCSafetyScissor you never know when you'll need those! you keep them!
@caitinlv I feel the same way. *hugs*
http://twitpic.com/p2g44 - For @johncmayer, eternally grateful. Glad to know you're still here.
http://twitpic.com/p2hci - @johncmayer has a brilliant advertising idea and loves the 80s.
Had to delete the 2nd twitpic, found an ERROR!
@ExoticMoonFlwer you're welcome!
http://twitpic.com/p2hu6 - @johncmayer has a brilliant idea and loves the 80s at the same time!
Why does twitpic say November 11th? Damn near gave me a heart attack.
Seriously, @thefinebros could've done a better job at this: http://bit.ly/1x5Z0N

@exoticmoonflwer I want that song at my wedding.
I had a horrible nightmare about NYC.
In order to get there, everyone met up at my mom's condo, about 2hrs north of NYC. I took a nap, and I awoke 45 minutes into the concert
Everyone had ditched me
And it wasn't like I could get down there in time for the show because a) i don't have tickets, b) 2hrs away, c)HOLDING YOUR SHIT HOSTAGE!
Then JohnMayerAsASim showed up and we made out for the rest of the night. So...good dream/bad dream?
@BunnyEars everyone saw it. it was quite the spectacle. The media showed up. He wouldn't stop. Considering calling it rape.
Are you kidding me? (NSFW) http://images.thesimsresource.com/1329/1329497.jpg
@idlikethat it's 6pm PST, you have another 3 hours, i believe.
@idlikethat or maybe i'm wrong...
http://bit.ly/jOpxT
Oh ignore that past tweet, that was a previous performance of 'Stitched up"
@catdsilver yes, my love
So if i've interpreted my dream correctly, I have a strong desire to be with my alter ego. Well, let's get it on.
@johncmayer Purchasing the CD next week and getting the vinyl for Hanukkah.
@MandiElyse I'm not sure when my mom is planning on sending it to me. But she wanted to buy me the CD and I told her "I got this one..."
@VannyDel I think you should, getting them riled up outside of the message board is funnnnnnnnn
http://twitpic.com/oxwia -
@richgates blame it on the shaky hands
@richgates I am, it was regular chicken breast seasoned with dill and pepper. Slathered with Balsamic afterwards.
@trulydawn You're welcome!
@vannydel The opening of "Edge of Desire" reminds me of DMB's 'Satellite, if the song was good and about wanting to fuck.Thanks @johncmayer
Dear @johncmayer, make up your mind as to which email with to you would like us to send our disagreements. I'll be waiting impatiently.
@VannyDel I'll be there in a week and a day.

Any zoraping tonight ?
Goodmorning Girls and boys! I'm going to bed!
sleep well, @richgates, @caitinlv, @cheekeymonkey and @sugarplumkelly! you are wonderful!
It's time to work on strips.
@catdsilver oh my love, it might not be epic but it should be something to tide people over.
I don't get why they muted out 'testicle' on Comedy Central just now...
@richgates FROM FERRIS BUELLER?
@cwm76 Not hungry anymore #threewordsaftersex
At least aim for my breasts.
@MCSafetyScissor it's sad to not have the right boobs in the Sims
@senor_mc I saw that photo and would like you to know that it's all it would take to get in my pants right now.

Dear @bobmaron - I am overdosing on pumpkin seeds because of you. Thank you.
Where my girls at? zorap.com/sallyb sneeze to get in!
@kweenie nada
Excuse me, have you ever seen the Scott Stapp sex tape? #badpickuplines
You're giving me a raging semi #horriblepickuplines
@MCSafetyScissor Will send support
@MCSafetyScissor semiboner
Gnite @bearheadedgirl!
Nope, not blocked, just not paying attention.
Goodnight everybody!
@cwm76 That should be the engraving.
@kweenie am glad she's okay!

Happy Birthday, Ms. @VannyDel - you are Wonderful and I am sleepy! Crazyhair for you all the time!
@shenaniganjenn I should go see the movie Precious this weekend.
@shenaniganjenn And by I, I mean you. I think it would LEARN YOU SOME TOLERANCE!
AND I'M OUT!
@ShenaniganJenn Officially jealous :) <3
@BobMaron You should give out photobooks of your dinner plates as gifts. With original captions of course.
Okay, seriously, sleep. Tweeting in this drowse is dangerous.
@bobmaron http://twitpic.com/ois9p - I was afraid this was going to be food.
Where mah zoraps at? I'mma create one
http://zorap.com/sallyb sneeze to get in sweethearts

@senor_mc http://twitpic.com/obw6c - Is that tweetdeck? If not, what app is that for twitter? I need it in my life. It's sexy, Senor MC_Sexa
Showered and going to sleep.
@SugarPlumKelly Goodnight!
@elvisduran It can but my friends used to call them jumbo yummies.
Oh look, I missed a lot of twitter drama. Fuck sleep. I need to become a real Sim.
Oh look whose mobileweb finally decided to work? Fuck you, Verizon.
#perezhiltonisacompletepieceofshit
I don't want to download it because it would mean going to the site of #hewhoshallnotbenamed
@k8thompson i hate his stupid ass
@PerezHilton Thanks for being a douchebag...again.
THEY HAVE CHRISTMAS OUTFITS ON THE SIMS!
WHERE ARE THE HANUKKAH OUTFITS?
@catdsilver i'm jewish too, how do you think i feel?
Until they give me a tree/menorah, I'm not downloading the set.
@caitinlv that would be sexy and hebraic
Oh look, a JOhn Mayer post. SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
has anyone opened a zorap? i'm going to because i'm bored waiting for my dye to set
Come chat at http://www.zorap.com/sallyb bring your boobs to get in...Man boobs are also acceptable
well done and done, chat opened

do i need to start my own zorap? i'm tipsy...this could be a problem
@pixolita http://twitpic.com/o7yjm - pixie's coming? hooray!
@Pixolita will just be in the city to meet/greet the ladies. Not so much going to the show cause I ain't got tix. I should be sleeping now.
@VannyDel where'd the chat move to?
@caitinlv chat still going?
@ThisIsRobThomas very good choice.
@ShenaniganJenn I adore thee. Fo sho. It's on.
Dear @bobmaron you have now made me afraid to fly.
Why did I think that wordpress cost something?
For new followers, here's what this account is all about - http://twitpic.com/jdvhp
Anyone wanna buy my 80gb silver ipod? $200. No issues. I just wanna buy an ipod touch.
@bobmaron I don't want to travel to AZ to get my clothes back from those townies in that link you shared. That state is out of control! :)
@Mayer_Babe definitely not.
http://twitpic.com/ob4vs - @BobMaron However, I have relatives in Phoenix. Here's a photo of me driving through the desert/looking for lost
DEAR ANTM - THANK YOU FOR SENDING SUNDAI HOME. SHE NEEDED TO LEAVE 3 EPISODES AGO, OR HOW MANY EPISODES WERE THE FIRST EP. THANK YOU.

I give up, the game didn't accept it
What? RT @thesforacle: @JohnMayerAsASim http://twitpic.com/o36kz - fuck no chump ass bitch
@senor_mc I LOVE ichat. It is amazing. You are even more awesome for having a mac.
@MCSafetyScissor i heart you and goodnight!
At 9 minutes and 13 seconds, this is my jam for the day. Enjoy. http://is.gd/4MiPn
I brought along michael mcdonald to help us out
Why read Twilight when you can read the Encyclopedia Dramatica entry about it for free? It's twice as good - http://is.gd/4MonH
@johncmayer I'm contacting @GapOfficial to advise them of your disloyalty since your photo shoot.

@senor_mc I don't know who you think you are but you're very attractive. Not funny. And people like you get turned into Sims in their sleep.
@senor_mc IJust kidding, you're funny. It's a very easy life. You spend all day eating, having sex, maybe getting a job. That's optional.
@senor_mc there are cheats to cancel out the need to eat/shower/go to the bathroom at all. So you can spend the day playing video games.
@senor_mc Oh *I* do, but in the game, there's a cheat that gets rid of the need. If I were to make YOU a Sim, you would never piss/shit/eat.
@senor_mc I think you would be. You could be whatever you want. Mad scientist? Check. Porn Seller? Check. Pimp? Sure thing.
@senor_mc I'm not sure, I might need to wait for the Half-assed Expansion pack to come out.
Have successfully pre-ordered the Sims 3 - World Edition expansion pack. If you'd like to donate, please visit http://is.gd/4KOxX Goodnight!
@KarenRowena Going right now, milady! I suck at keeping my promises.
@ecctv do you have windows or mac?
@cwm76 Remember to stop showering for full effect.
@Cheekiemunkey do you get the full aura/visual shit with it too?
I lost 3 followers today. Weeding out the weak from the strong, I call it.
Oh look, a John Mayer post on ONTD. SPAM IT.
@ecctv try reinstalling it over your current copy
@ellebees mac or pc?
@Cheekiemunkey that's a dick, that's what that is. i get the aura, it's the worst evar. it feels like purple
@ellebees ugh, check to see if tubetv is available for PC. I use it all the time
@ecctv just the original Sims 2.
@ecctv i might be talking out my ass here, but i've reinstalled sims 3 over my current copy and it fixed everything, but it's 3 not 2.
@cwm76 did you cry when BNL broke up?
'TO WONG FOO' IS ON BET!
@MCSafetyScissor will be there soon, i have to download some shit for my sims and see if they work!
Would you like to donate to John Mayer as a Sim? You can do so here. Go on and pass the plate and add me on Livejournal! http://is.gd/4KOxX
@cwm76 In which song does Courtney Love sound like Edward Norton?
http://twitpic.com/o332h - You know, if @bobmaron were a girl, I could give him this hair in a hot minute.
@bearheadedgirl i'd have to make him a chick first...that'd be weird
http://twitpic.com/o36kz - Oh, my agod. Hey @bobmaron, will this do?

http://twitpic.com/ntmmo - Elderly @johncmayer should be called upon to repopulate the world. New strip.
http://twitpic.com/ntmmo - New strip featuring @mcsafetyscissor
@VannyDel why for not you in here, in the room chatting?
@mayercrafter OH MY DEAR, I WISH.
@bobmaron we're up chatting in http://www.zorap.com/caitlinlv you need a guitar to get in.
@catdsilver so does his parents :)
Goodnight to everyone!
A new baby - http://is.gd/4JSXL and a new grandchild on the way - http://is.gd/4JSZe - what a world. Goodnight!
@SugarPlumKelly gnite!
@caitinlv Thank you and gnite
@bobmaron http://twitpic.com/nvth5 - It's Challah bread season already? Are those raisins? Om nom nom.
http://twitpic.com/ntmmo - New Strip from last night.
http://twitpic.com/nt8x5 - Another new strip from last night.
@thesforacle huh?
did someone get @mcsafetyscissor's account suspended? i hope not. that kid's a cutey.
@MCSafetyScissor i see you
http://twitpic.com/nx6dl - New Strip - the birth of 'Who Says,' @johncmayer will never admit.
http://twitpic.com/nx6dl - Who says I can't annoy the shit out of a taxi driver?
http://twitpic.com/nxqp2 - Not a new strip but I couldn't NOT post this.
@Nick_Sydney It'd be hard to fellate a filet-o-fish due to the consistency of breaded skin. Hence the ease of doing so to human counterparts
@danewhite007 why bother? Honestly, it'd just bring more frustration into your life and it's not worth it
@danewhite007 i know exactly what you mean :)
Started up a chat, hope you brought your boobs or else you can't get in - http://www.zorap.com/sallyb
But if I don't immediately respond in there, it's because i'm playing the sims...at the same time. I'm awesome.
This is the president Kennedy shooting episode. I knew Mad Men would cover it by seasons end.
@MandiElyse I have to get the entire thing. I don't have any season

coComing back to the chat in a few minutes
Hope they were Gold.RT @bearheadedgirl: Suspicious Canadians! I think those were fleshlights not flashligh...
Even though it's not the gold fleshlight he wanted, immediately, I think of @cwm76 - http://is.gd/4JjQ2
@VannyDel Too bad it's not gold...
@mayercrafter Always!
Out for the day with my family. How many times will I punch Walls in the face just for trying to talk to me?
@bobmaron http://twitpic.com/ns0z3 - Oh...oh my. Great job. Report back when done.
IT'S DORITO TIME.
@mcsafetyscissor God Damn, your girlfriend Kyla has small tittays.
@MCSafetyScissor you would think so...
@MCSafetyScissor there has to be a cheat for it.
Could it be? Two strips tonight? OH hale yeah
@catdsilver you'll be in the first one
http://twitpic.com/nt8x5 - New strip. Elderly John is cranky. New Grandkid. Another strip coming soon.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUND!