Oh wow, Russell Brand recycled part of his stand up. But I love that he used the word 'Tight.'
Show 'em how to do it, now! RT @matt_nathanson: Get your dick sucked, your dick sucked yeayeah!!!!!!
I'll personally be there. RT @SLSCJR14: @JohnMayerAsASim Is Mayer performing at #grammys?
Why not :) RT @SLSCJR14: @JohnMayerAsASim Yes but is the singer John Mayer performing?
I'm performing at the Grammys! RT @SLSCJR14: @JohnMayerAsASim Not sure, there were a couple of conflicting stories. I hope so! ; )
A tell-all song about my love affair with a squinty eyed songstress. IT'S MY TURN FOR THE TRUTH RT @malibujanna: @JohnMayerAsASim WHAT SONG?
@caitinlv I'LL BE THERE IN A DAY.
I'll give you a dirty ole man. RT @caitinlv: @JohnMayerAsASim I gave her the ole dirty old man?
Just realized how awkward it must be for Russell to host SNL with Chris Brown, knowing he beat up his wife's best friend.
BONEITIS!
Maddy wants to meet Lady Gaga. No. You need to sit down. It's the Grammys, not a slumber party.
LIVE TWEETING FROM THE GRAMMYS, children!
RT @SallyBlock: Last minute donation drive - need to make $300 by Thursday or massage school may be a no go. Please - http://is.gd/imPsDY
Lenny Kravitz just got here. He was wonderful to Precious and so, I trust him around my Maddy.
@caitinlv I'm. On. it.
Being at the Grammys is like the ultimate Prom.
There are lots of pretty women and always some underdressed douchebag wearing a cowboy hat. Oh look, there's Jewel.
Ooooh, Nicki Minaj just got here. I want to take a bite of that chocolate bunny.
Nicki Minaj looks nervous. I should hug her. But then I'd never let her go. Isn't that right, @pixolita, @caitinlv @vanny_del?
@Pixolita *done*
I don't know a whole lot of you but you should be bowing down to me.
Maddy's bored and taking a nap back in the limo. I'm hitting on girls who are 10 years older than she is. I'd feel bad but they're hot.
(BTW, Maddy is now 15 so it's okay)
WHITNEY IS HERE. I'll be back in an hour.
But truth be told, if I'm banging Whitney Houston tonight and she yells out 'Bobby B!' I won't be upset. I love her so much. Always fine.
That camera guy on the red carpet kept trying to take photos of Maddy and get her number. Back off, I'm not afraid to go back to jail.
Hey, @pixolita. Given my history with black chicks, can you help me get with Whitney? Am I good enough for her?
Yes, I'm still going on the assumption that all minorities know each other. ALL WHITE PEOPLE DO!
What's up L.L.? Let's do a remake of 'Hey Lover.' #grammys
It's okay, they should just redefine the word 'Man' and 'woman' since they're so keen on redefining things lately. @t_rim
@t_rim See? It's just another thing they can add to their list of re-writing the dictionary.
I just got Maddy from the limo because Drake just arrived and I wanted to prove to her that he's not in a wheelchair. #degrassi #fail
And before you even ask, I'm not letting her sit with or even talk to Jordin Sparks. She's a bad role model and I don't need that.
Also, I just ran into my younger self. Told him to shave or I'd disown him. Clearly, he's listening.
Also, Tia Carerre is here. I need to act on that.
One of the douchebags from the Black Eyed Peas just arrived carrying a book. Like I'd buy anything written by you (includes your music).
I'm going to have a talk with myself about that. RT @solarpowerspork: @JohnMayerAsASim, what's with the Johnny Depp look, dear?
Actually, it's because my girlfriend has a Pirates fetish RT @solarpowerspork: @JohnMayerAsASim, what's with the Johnny Depp look, dear?
I think that was John Mayer RT @AfterElton: Johnny Depp washed his hair. Someone alert the media! #GayGrammys
I am almost drunk enough to yell out 'Hey, BOB!' instead of 'B.O.B.' to see if he'll turn around.
Look Lady Gaga, I understand you're fucking tired but you're not a fucking queen. Wait til you go backstage and fucking sleep.
Barry Manilow is here now. I need to talk to him about his plastic surgery.
Someone yell out 'Jimmy!' #redcarpet #wishes
I think artists abuse the word 'organic.'
Do these CBS commentators know how to do their job? The guy is an asshole.
I've had a threesome with Heidi and Seal
Martina McBride looks like she sings country.
Same. She deserves better than this rip off of VH1's diva's. RT @yearinla: ALSO I AM SORRY YOU ARE APART OF THIS FUCKERY, FLORENCE
Martina McBride's trying to country-ize Aretha. No.
RT @mkdlisted You know Aretha is backstage with a biscuit in her hand and this thought in her head: "Nice try, bitches, but no...."
THIS IS NOT NECESSARY - GRAMMYS
What the hell happened to you, Aretha? Go sleep, you look sick.
Oh look it's Madonna...oh wait. #gaga #grammys
SHE'S EVEN DOING VOGUE HAND MOVEMENTS. #GRAMMYS I'm leaving
I can see it from here andd the answer is yes. RT @Vanny_Del: I wonder if Gaga waxed her asshole for the Grammy's.
Oh good, she's finally singing the version she sang on the stage at the VMA's. #gagafail
No, Madonna was born that way. You were born later and decided to copy her. #gagas
RT @MeganRabren: Aretha's tribute was great. Florence definitely held her own. I am SO OVER Lady Gaga. That song sucks.
Video: tumblrisforlulz: http://tumblr.com/xsr1iaz8ax
Maddy ran to the parking lot so she doesnt have to hear half this crap. RT @diediemydarlin: And then that guy starts rapping. #Grammys
Yes. Maddy's scurred RT @Vanny_Del: So.... is the live audience seeing this in black n white too? O_o
Couldn't please me without your hands RT @Vanny_Del: I'm sorry but I don't care how much I love you I'm not catching a grenade for your ass.
Wait...yes you could. RT @Vanny_Del: I'm sorry but I don't care how much I love you I'm not catching a grenade for your ass.
BING BONG, Hello! RT @Vanny_Del: @JohnMayerAsASim I have a talented mouth.....
Can we give out a damn award already? I'm tired and need some damn Baileys in my Ensure.
Russell Brand hit on me. I'm excited.
When Gaga cries it means she's gonna sing. Stop it.
And you dreamed you would become Madonna. Dream come true. #gaga #grammys
Of course it doesn't. She's just hinting at her next target to rip off. RT @Vanny_Del: But that doesn't sound like a Whitney song.
I totally hit on Susan Boyle. She's a firework in bed. #grammys #truth
TRUTH RT @SLSCJR14: @JohnMayerAsASim You NASTY
I just came from the amount of banjos on stage.
Yes, during that song, I was thinking of when I tweeted - It's a quarter after one, I just huffed a can of ceiling paint and I need you now?
Wow, apparently you CAN out-Elton John, Elton John. #grammys
Truth - during the rehearsals it was Dr. Teeth and the Electric band.
But I thought it wasn't a performance RT @Tourloko: Anyone else super excited to buy Mayer/Keith Vegas tickets right after that little diddy
Here's that homework you requested @tourloko - http://twurl.nl/e6ajol
Be original and shut the fuck up, internet ads.
All I heard was 'polishes' and 'head.' Leaving the Grammys for you. RT @caitinlv: @SallyBlock *polishes halo* *puts it atop your head*
So what happened to Jennifer Aniston? #grammys #barbara
I mean, So that's what happened to Jennifer Aniston #barbara #grammys.
I've been meaning to look Jenn up and see how her 85 year old ass is doing RT @caitinlv: Jen WISHES.
Show 'em how to do it, now! RT @matt_nathanson: Get your dick sucked, your dick sucked yeayeah!!!!!!
I'll personally be there. RT @SLSCJR14: @JohnMayerAsASim Is Mayer performing at #grammys?
Why not :) RT @SLSCJR14: @JohnMayerAsASim Yes but is the singer John Mayer performing?
I'm performing at the Grammys! RT @SLSCJR14: @JohnMayerAsASim Not sure, there were a couple of conflicting stories. I hope so! ; )
A tell-all song about my love affair with a squinty eyed songstress. IT'S MY TURN FOR THE TRUTH RT @malibujanna: @JohnMayerAsASim WHAT SONG?
@caitinlv I'LL BE THERE IN A DAY.
I'll give you a dirty ole man. RT @caitinlv: @JohnMayerAsASim I gave her the ole dirty old man?
Just realized how awkward it must be for Russell to host SNL with Chris Brown, knowing he beat up his wife's best friend.
BONEITIS!
Maddy wants to meet Lady Gaga. No. You need to sit down. It's the Grammys, not a slumber party.
LIVE TWEETING FROM THE GRAMMYS, children!
RT @SallyBlock: Last minute donation drive - need to make $300 by Thursday or massage school may be a no go. Please - http://is.gd/imPsDY
Lenny Kravitz just got here. He was wonderful to Precious and so, I trust him around my Maddy.
@caitinlv I'm. On. it.
Being at the Grammys is like the ultimate Prom.
There are lots of pretty women and always some underdressed douchebag wearing a cowboy hat. Oh look, there's Jewel.
Ooooh, Nicki Minaj just got here. I want to take a bite of that chocolate bunny.
Nicki Minaj looks nervous. I should hug her. But then I'd never let her go. Isn't that right, @pixolita, @caitinlv @vanny_del?
@Pixolita *done*
I don't know a whole lot of you but you should be bowing down to me.
Maddy's bored and taking a nap back in the limo. I'm hitting on girls who are 10 years older than she is. I'd feel bad but they're hot.
(BTW, Maddy is now 15 so it's okay)
WHITNEY IS HERE. I'll be back in an hour.
But truth be told, if I'm banging Whitney Houston tonight and she yells out 'Bobby B!' I won't be upset. I love her so much. Always fine.
That camera guy on the red carpet kept trying to take photos of Maddy and get her number. Back off, I'm not afraid to go back to jail.
Hey, @pixolita. Given my history with black chicks, can you help me get with Whitney? Am I good enough for her?
Yes, I'm still going on the assumption that all minorities know each other. ALL WHITE PEOPLE DO!
What's up L.L.? Let's do a remake of 'Hey Lover.' #grammys
It's okay, they should just redefine the word 'Man' and 'woman' since they're so keen on redefining things lately. @t_rim
@t_rim See? It's just another thing they can add to their list of re-writing the dictionary.
I just got Maddy from the limo because Drake just arrived and I wanted to prove to her that he's not in a wheelchair. #degrassi #fail
And before you even ask, I'm not letting her sit with or even talk to Jordin Sparks. She's a bad role model and I don't need that.
Also, I just ran into my younger self. Told him to shave or I'd disown him. Clearly, he's listening.
Also, Tia Carerre is here. I need to act on that.
One of the douchebags from the Black Eyed Peas just arrived carrying a book. Like I'd buy anything written by you (includes your music).
I'm going to have a talk with myself about that. RT @solarpowerspork: @JohnMayerAsASim, what's with the Johnny Depp look, dear?
Actually, it's because my girlfriend has a Pirates fetish RT @solarpowerspork: @JohnMayerAsASim, what's with the Johnny Depp look, dear?
I think that was John Mayer RT @AfterElton: Johnny Depp washed his hair. Someone alert the media! #GayGrammys
I am almost drunk enough to yell out 'Hey, BOB!' instead of 'B.O.B.' to see if he'll turn around.
Look Lady Gaga, I understand you're fucking tired but you're not a fucking queen. Wait til you go backstage and fucking sleep.
Barry Manilow is here now. I need to talk to him about his plastic surgery.
Someone yell out 'Jimmy!' #redcarpet #wishes
I think artists abuse the word 'organic.'
Do these CBS commentators know how to do their job? The guy is an asshole.
I've had a threesome with Heidi and Seal
Martina McBride looks like she sings country.
Same. She deserves better than this rip off of VH1's diva's. RT @yearinla: ALSO I AM SORRY YOU ARE APART OF THIS FUCKERY, FLORENCE
Martina McBride's trying to country-ize Aretha. No.
RT @mkdlisted You know Aretha is backstage with a biscuit in her hand and this thought in her head: "Nice try, bitches, but no...."
THIS IS NOT NECESSARY - GRAMMYS
What the hell happened to you, Aretha? Go sleep, you look sick.
Oh look it's Madonna...oh wait. #gaga #grammys
SHE'S EVEN DOING VOGUE HAND MOVEMENTS. #GRAMMYS I'm leaving
I can see it from here andd the answer is yes. RT @Vanny_Del: I wonder if Gaga waxed her asshole for the Grammy's.
Oh good, she's finally singing the version she sang on the stage at the VMA's. #gagafail
No, Madonna was born that way. You were born later and decided to copy her. #gagas
RT @MeganRabren: Aretha's tribute was great. Florence definitely held her own. I am SO OVER Lady Gaga. That song sucks.
Video: tumblrisforlulz: http://tumblr.com/xsr1iaz8ax
Maddy ran to the parking lot so she doesnt have to hear half this crap. RT @diediemydarlin: And then that guy starts rapping. #Grammys
Yes. Maddy's scurred RT @Vanny_Del: So.... is the live audience seeing this in black n white too? O_o
Couldn't please me without your hands RT @Vanny_Del: I'm sorry but I don't care how much I love you I'm not catching a grenade for your ass.
Wait...yes you could. RT @Vanny_Del: I'm sorry but I don't care how much I love you I'm not catching a grenade for your ass.
BING BONG, Hello! RT @Vanny_Del: @JohnMayerAsASim I have a talented mouth.....
Can we give out a damn award already? I'm tired and need some damn Baileys in my Ensure.
Russell Brand hit on me. I'm excited.
When Gaga cries it means she's gonna sing. Stop it.
And you dreamed you would become Madonna. Dream come true. #gaga #grammys
Of course it doesn't. She's just hinting at her next target to rip off. RT @Vanny_Del: But that doesn't sound like a Whitney song.
I totally hit on Susan Boyle. She's a firework in bed. #grammys #truth
TRUTH RT @SLSCJR14: @JohnMayerAsASim You NASTY
I just came from the amount of banjos on stage.
Yes, during that song, I was thinking of when I tweeted - It's a quarter after one, I just huffed a can of ceiling paint and I need you now?
Wow, apparently you CAN out-Elton John, Elton John. #grammys
Truth - during the rehearsals it was Dr. Teeth and the Electric band.
But I thought it wasn't a performance RT @Tourloko: Anyone else super excited to buy Mayer/Keith Vegas tickets right after that little diddy
Here's that homework you requested @tourloko - http://twurl.nl/e6ajol
Be original and shut the fuck up, internet ads.
All I heard was 'polishes' and 'head.' Leaving the Grammys for you. RT @caitinlv: @SallyBlock *polishes halo* *puts it atop your head*
So what happened to Jennifer Aniston? #grammys #barbara
I mean, So that's what happened to Jennifer Aniston #barbara #grammys.
I've been meaning to look Jenn up and see how her 85 year old ass is doing RT @caitinlv: Jen WISHES.
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