Time to pay my esquire bill...
Maddy goes back to classes today. She's looking at colleges too. If she comes home pregnant...Someone will die and it'll probably be me.
Seems like just last year she was a baby...wait a minute. IS SOMEONE FUCKING WITH MY LIFE?!
THIS DOES NOT SOOTHE RT @caitinlv: @JohnMayerAsASim Don't panic. Odds are Maddy will just fall for someone like you when you were her age.
I've actually been to visit her and I motorboated her hello/good luck! RT @caitinlv: Say a little prayer for our @bearheadedgirl y'all, ok?
RT @mitchfatel: Don't want to tell you how to live your life ladies but If I had a vagina I would take very good care of it & wash it often.
Maddy goes back to classes today. She's looking at colleges too. If she comes home pregnant...Someone will die and it'll probably be me.
Seems like just last year she was a baby...wait a minute. IS SOMEONE FUCKING WITH MY LIFE?!
THIS DOES NOT SOOTHE RT @caitinlv: @JohnMayerAsASim Don't panic. Odds are Maddy will just fall for someone like you when you were her age.
I've actually been to visit her and I motorboated her hello/good luck! RT @caitinlv: Say a little prayer for our @bearheadedgirl y'all, ok?
RT @mitchfatel: Don't want to tell you how to live your life ladies but If I had a vagina I would take very good care of it & wash it often.
Tweets copied by twittinesis.com
