JM, As a Sim

ALWAYS! RT @AfterElton: I found Kristen Wiig charming on the media circuit for Bridesmaids this week but her #SNL characters are painful.
Brain Spasm - Kurt Loder is 66 this year. SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR CHILDHOOD.
Watching last night's SNL. I will always love Jason Sudeikis doing the running man. Always.
RT @GeorgeMichael: Remember folks, never apologis for sex...unless you are bad at it!!!!!
@hwinkler4real If you're ever up in Albany NY, you need to try Crisans. They have the best pastries ever.
Every now and then you hear a song you haven't completely listened to in half a decade and you remember how amazing it was. What's yours?
@FnRayOSunshine Read that as hot sauce and suicide. Did you marry my older son, Walls?
@Nick_Sydney Who hurt you, Lionel? Who hurt you, who hurt you, who hurt you, who hurt you, who hurt you?
@caitinlv oh my caramel cream colored bunny.
@caitinlv I'm the only one who cares about your sinuses
@Nick_Sydney it got the axe
Trying to help Maddy study for her SATs. Not a fan of this fuckery going on with my stomach. Farting is not an answer on her exam. Or is it?
@Nick_Sydney I never had the chance to catch it. Too busy smacking Walls around, messing around with whores.

So happy for Mike Myers and his new wife as they're expecting a baby! May you have better luck training them than I did.
There's a funeral scene in Harold and Maude where a parade goes by and I believe, I want the same thing after mine. Marching band and all.

There's not that much news in my life right now. Granddaughter Maddy insists on studying for finals but I'm all "But I can buy your grades."
Goodnight everybody. Hop into bed with me!
I have such a mancrush on Todd Manning and I'm glad the real one is back on OLTL.
@ShenaniganJenn I was a huge fan of when Days had @stefanodimera brainwashed John Black into Roman Brady.
@ShenaniganJenn And everyone in Salem fell for it for at least 5 years. That this shit may have been going on for nearly 8 years? Gold.

@Pixolita Hey chocolate bunny
At a diner, eating a cantaloupe with a spoon while listening to Hipnotize by Biggie.
Yep, I'm an old man, melonballing it while listening to old school gangsta rap.

Call me Sir Cranks a Lot because I'm fucking cranky this evening.
This afternoon whilst grocery shopping, a little girl bragged to her mom about her chocolate bunny. I told her mine had bigger boobs.
My sweet tooth always gets me into trouble during the after Easter sales. So many chocolate bunnies for sale.
@donald_faison But they lose eagle points for using the "No homo" hash tag.
@Pixolita Do it like Men On Film or else...

When are we going to acknowledge that Lady Gaga is overexposed and should just go away? Never? Okay. I'll sit down with my unpopular self.
@KarenRowena Come on by, my Australian Upside Down bunny
@ItsVader you show them legs!
I can't wait til they get David Bowie on SNL and you get to meet your dad @snlstefon

Eerie Indiana is on fucking Netflix. Set phasers to STONED.

Shit http://www.hulu.com/watch/3522/saturday-night-live-the-overacting-negro-ensemble
Where my ladies at this evening? I need to be serviced and to service you! I'm looking at all my chocolate bunnies!
@TheSims3 Schlibbity jab! Haz idwabidoo pit mar don? Foor nit din kibby. Ha ha.
@caitinlv that's exactly how I like 'em!
RT @HuffingtonPost: France legalizes absinthe http://huff.to/lP9VeL
@Benjamin__Linus the Pants Monster
I wouldn't go to this toilet with my big sister's toe! #sawyer
#exterminate #southpark

At a diner in Albany. You should come find me!

Watching a really old but my favorite episode of Rocko's Modern Life - Zanzibar!
@bobmaron How was your Passover?! I hope all is well with you and yours! Hope you ate a lot :)

RT @denisleary: Apocadouche Now: guys who wear thumb rings. Turn yr testicles in.
RT @HuffPostStyle: Fact: Michelle Pfeiffer has not aged since about 1990 http://aol.it/lJurFB

@stefanodimera You'd have to show that asshole Trump all your birth AND death certificates. I'll meet you at the printer.
@michaelianblack I thought all British weddings were Doctor Who themed.
Wait, all British weddings are NOT "Doctor Who" themed? Well fuck you, Royal Fam. I'll be watching the Golden Girls with @kevinmarshall!
Holy shit, Cartman's mom is acting like a mom. Damn.
@JstCallMeFrank thanks as always!

Hope nobody needs me. Just took the best shower ever and am gonna nap naked like I used to when I went on tour years ago. Like the view?

Dear girls on the Garage clothing website: eat some goddamn cheeseburgers. I'll meet you at McDonalds.
New phrase of the day: Crotch Dropping. Use it in a sentence.

I would've totally railed Donna #doctorwho #redheads
HAPPY SUNDAY! #Jewish :)
I fucking love Laura Linney. Always. It's a love that will never end.

RT @ebertchicago: "By the age of 50, every man has the face he deserves." (rt) http://bit.ly/e6I2jT
HIDE YO STASH, Antoine Dodson, hide yo stash.
@ninaisshort DO NOT MAKE ME COME OVER THERE! I have le sniffles.
Why does sudafed make me extra flirty? LADIES? Halp me!
@kisstheground but I still love you.
Fuck this, I'm gonna watch the David Tennant episodes of Doctor Who all day. I don't need your love...
Going to the mall with @ninaisshort to get Maddy some shoes. If that bitch thinks she's getting anything costing more than $25 a pair...
late night sudafed, baileys and ensure. Good times, ladies, good times.

Am I really this bored that I'm watching an episode of Ally McBeal?

What a great joke the mouse pad is on our laptops. The motions we make on it right above our laps - imagine if we were all women. #sadoldman
@kisstheground EXACTAMENTE!

RT @charliesheen: Epic Happy Birthday to @ginamaron, not only my friend... But, goddess to @bobmaron... My Tweetmaster and Confidante!! ...

@lisalocicerogh So Stevia is your new couple portmanteau? Unlike the fake sugar, you guys won't cause me to break out in a body rash. Sexy.